Name:Harrison Location:United States

The Original Lovable Little Fuzzball

Here's the straight stuff.

The adventures of Harrison are true.
Try a few of his Crunchy Bites for a taste.
--Alpha Human Mom

Wednesday, July 30, 2008

Who Loves Ya', Baby?

Terrific short film 'bout a terrier and his teen-ager…


UPDATE: AHM was in such a hurry to post this she forgot the credits. That's her story and she's stickin' to it.

Anyway, Devon Kelly sent me the link to her (2004) video. AHM is real high on it which, considerin' she teaches kids theater and music, trains dogs, and used to be a movie critic, is enough for me. I can't see it real well (age gets to us all), but she says Sly (the dog star) gives a very subtle performance as Flapjack, sayin' more with his ears than the average actor can manage with speech. Eli Fowler as Freddie captures the typical teen conflict between selfishness and sentimentality without getting' maudlin. As for the father…well…if he was on an episode of It's Me Or The Dog, I'd take the dog.

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posted by Harrison at 3:53 PM


Friday, July 25, 2008

Bar-ack! Kat

This guy has it all—multi-colored diversity; the fixed, unblinking gaze of the dedicated reformer (or someone missin' his teleprompter); the all-encompasin' outreach of those two black paws; and the typical Demo-cat satisfaction when petted and stroked. But the real giveaway is—the front and back are goin' in opposite directions. And when he's done presentin' himself—he's gone. No stickin' around for questions or comments.

Stunned & Frozen Cat !

Dug up at Neatorama.

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posted by Harrison at 3:53 PM


To Lucky

…don't mess with that Amazing Viper Indoor Remote Control Helicopter again, ya' hear?

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posted by Harrison at 12:45 PM


Thursday, July 24, 2008


Meryl Yourish has been documentin' the progress of Mr. Tig over the past months, 'specially his sleepin'-on-the-bed etiquette. Things seem to be movin' along nicely, but just in case, I thought I'd post a short visual aid on how not to behave.

Cat Man Do by animator Simon Tofield of Tandem Films.

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posted by Harrison at 12:14 PM


Wednesday, July 23, 2008

Kibbles 'n Bits®

I occasionally like to play with my food, but dressin' 'em up before chowin' 'em down is a bit much.

"Two Guinea pigs, wearing Peruvian local dresses, are displayed during the Guinea pig food. Guinea pigs are native to the high Andes, and have been an important source of protein for millennia. Nowadays, in Peru, the animal is served with a generous portion of Andean tubers."

No word on how the tubers are dressed.

Most obvious headline of the day: There are a bunch of snakes at Bogalusa [LA] City Hall

[L]ast Thursday a plumber killed the first one in the hallway by the bathroom between Finance and Public Works. Later that day, a worker found one at the back door, across the threshold. He put his foot on it and cut off its head with a pocket knife.

Democrats or Republicans? We report—you decide.

One Ringy Dingy

Two Ringy Dingies

Three Ringy Dingi—zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

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posted by Harrison at 3:35 PM


Tuesday, July 22, 2008

Cats Still Cannot Be Trusted

Once again canines are doin' the heavy work in the war on terror…

"Fearless German Shepherds are being trained to jump from aircraft at 25,000ft wearing their own oxygen masks and strapped to special forces assault teams. Once down in hostile terrain in Iraq or Afghanistan, the dogs will be sent in first to seek out insurgents’ hideouts with tiny cameras fixed to their heads. The cameras will beam live TV pictures back to the troops, warning of ambushes or showing enemy leaders’ locations. […] The dogs will be used in a highly-skilled technique called High Altitude High Opening, jumping as much as 20 miles from their targets and gliding towards them for up to 30 minutes."

Airborne Dog
"Dogs were first trained to parachute in the Second World War by the British on rescue missions. But they have never jumped from high altitude, the best way for small groups of men to get behind enemy lines undetected. The dogs have big advantages over soldiers in that they arouse less suspicion approaching targets, can squeeze into tighter spaces and can sniff out booby-trap explosives."

A caption at the K-9 History site asks "What does a dog yell when 'jumping?'" I'm not sure what those guys are yellin', but if it was me, it would be "Look out below!" 'cause I'd be dumpin' a load outta' sheer terror.

…while fe-lyings are wastin' the time of our all-important first-responders.

"Curiosity didn't kill Ralph the cat, but it did get the feline stuck in a tight situation Sunday. Two men arrived at Vancouver [Canada] Fire Station 85 on Sunday with a cat whose head was trapped in a Mason jar. Firefighters said the men came home from a weekend camping trip to find their cat…stuck in the jar."

Workin' dogs

"A transatlantic flight from Atlanta to Paris was diverted to Gander, [Newfoundland] after police were notified on Sunday night of a bomb threat. All passengers and crew were evacuated while the RCMP conducted a search, [using] a bomb-detection police dog."

…versus Dipity, the Code Pink pussy.

"An Edmonton pet store is chipping in $700 as a reward to help [Kelley Abercrombie] find her missing cat, [Dipity] which was last seen wearing a pink dress and an ID collar. […] Abercrombie said the kitty, which loves car rides, had squeezed out of her car through a window, while she was in the coffee shop for a business meeting. She explained that Dipity—who's been known to dash from the car—was wearing a pink dress at the time because it makes it easier to spot the grey cat against asphalt. A witness told Abercrombie that a blonde, petite woman between 17 and 21 years old scooped the cat up, remarked that a feline shouldn't be wearing a dress, and said she would take the animal to a relative's farm."

Dipity is probably headin' for the border to claim asylum in the U.S.—sans pink dress. Tell ya' what—we'll send him back if Canada agrees to keep our military deserters.

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posted by Harrison at 11:30 PM


Sunday, July 20, 2008

The Most Amazin' Day on Earth…

…ended on the moon, July 20, 1969.

AHM was just a pup—and none of us were even glints in our great-great-great grandsire's eye—but she says what she remembers most was gettin' chills when Neil Armstrong's static-y voice announced "Houston, Tranquility Base here. The Eagle has landed."

Go here to read the memories of others who lived it.

"No other adventure was shared by more people. No other quest has meant more to our species as a standard by which we measure our incredible potential."

Watch it for yourselves—includin' Armstrong's mis-quote that's gone down in history.

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posted by Harrison at 8:58 AM


Friday, July 18, 2008

Déjà Vu All Over Again

Four years ago I tried to warn ya' 'bout this sort of thing. Obviously no one was listenin'…

"What do you do when you don't have a man to dance with? Well, if you're in Japan, you leave night clubs behind and take your dog to the "Bow-Meow World" in Tokyo."

Not only has it spread 'round the world, the writer's are copyin' each other.

"This is no foxtrot. But you can cha-cha-cha with your Chihuahua and polka with your poodles—assuming they don't think you're crazy."

doG to commentator… We do, we do, we DO!

"It might be a dog's breakfast to some…"

…not to be confused with the dog's dinner or the mutt's nuts

"…but in a country where the declining birth-rate means there are more dogs and cats than children…"

…and where it's never occurred to 'em that tellin' people they like to boogy down doggy style could be the reason for said declinin' birthrate…

"…this is about staying active, getting exercise and bonding with your best friend."

Do the words fetch and Walkies! have no meanin' for these people?

And if the first time wasn't bad enough, now there's video


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posted by Harrison at 3:55 PM


PETA: It's Not Just For Animals Any More

Liver Snap® to Kelly the Little Black Dog

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posted by Harrison at 1:33 PM


Monday, July 14, 2008

Demo-cat Cam…

…catches Bar-ack!-olyte worshipin' at the altar of the Really Cold Fish.

"Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again [like votin' Demo-cat] and expecting different results." Albert Einstein

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posted by Harrison at 11:38 AM


Saturday, July 12, 2008

Kibbles 'n Bits®

Breaking news from Biggleswade and St. Tiggywinkles. Beatrix Potter is not amused.

From the Biggleswade Chronicle.

"A [22-year-old] man has been arrested…in connection with the theft of 129 rabbits from a farm, police have said. […] The [police] spokesman said information about the crime had been posted on websites linked to animal liberation activists.

And at St. Tiggywinkles

"Vets at St Tiggywinkles Wildlife Hospital in Aylesbury are trying to establish how and why [Smoothie the bald squirrel]…lost all his fur."

Let them eat Krimpets®! (One of the four basic food groups 'round this house).

"Despite the presence of a real guillotine at Eastern State Penitentiary, don't expect a serious exploration of the pivotal events of the French Revolution. […] [Sean Kelley, program director] at Eastern State Penitentiary…says that thousands are attracted to the event every year to take part in a modern interpretation of "Let them eat cake":

"You haven't lived until you've seen 2,000 Krimpets fly over the medieval battlements of Eastern State and pelt small children on the ground. It's fabulous!"

Pink Flamingos fall victim to high oil prices

"The company that manufactured the iconic pink plastic flamingo lawn ornaments for close to 50 years filed for bankruptcy last week. […] Union Products president…said…the plastics industry has hit hard times because of the cost of electricity and resin, a petroleum-based product that is a key manufacturing ingredient."

…but the USB Humping Dog lives on.

"Product developers could just spend their time inventing the next best thing since sliced bread, but no, bless them. The world would be a very dull place if it wasn't for there being inventors out there with enough time on their hands to come up with something so stratospherically stupid as this, the USB Humping Dog."

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posted by Harrison at 1:05 AM


Friday, July 11, 2008

Invisible Magnetic Fields

The natural radio of earth and sky.

Magnetic Movie from Semiconductor on Vimeo.

"The secret lives of invisible magnetic fields are revealed as chaotic ever-changing geometries. All action takes place around NASA's Space Sciences Laboratories, UC Berkeley, to recordings of space scientists describing their discoveries. Actual VLF [very low frequency] audio recordings control the evolution of the fields as they delve into our inaudible surroundings, revealing recurrent ‘whistlers' produced by fleeting electrons."

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posted by Harrison at 10:47 PM


Wednesday, July 09, 2008

A Face for All Voters

Bar-arck!—man of a thousand political faces.

Dug up at Neatorama. "The photo was an approval shot sent [from Jailbreak Toys] factory for their recent run of the Obama Action Figure—which would explain the chinese newspaper!"

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posted by Harrison at 10:06 PM


Tuesday, July 08, 2008

The Old vs. Young Debate

Bar-ack!'s team is tryin' to define the upcomin' election in terms of age so here's somethin' to consider.

Accordin' to AHM, when she was a pup, she'd dump the piggy bank and run to the corner whenever that merry music maker (aka the ice cream truck) headed down the street. Dumb, but then she was YOUNG.

Now that she's OLD, she still runs around whenever that stupid music starts, but now she's slammin' windows. She's not alone in this.

With age comes wisdom—not to mention a low tolerance for insipid, tinklin' noises.

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posted by Harrison at 8:19 AM


Friday, July 04, 2008

Happy Fourth of July

Okay, accordin' to Two Dogs I'm a coupla' days late. But it's the thought that counts, right? And right now I'm thinkin'…barbecued ribs!!!

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posted by Harrison at 9:20 AM


Thursday, July 03, 2008

Chew 'Em If Ya' Got 'Em

Tomorrow all you supposedly superior human animals will be rushin' outside to build a fire and burn some meat, then sit around watchin' other humans blow up stuff to create a bunch of loud, sparkly night lights. Can't say I’m crazy 'bout the explodin' lights business, but anytime people haul piles of raw meat—or, in our case, a coupla' slabs of ribs—outside, there's always a chance gravity will win a few.

Then, while pawin' through the web this evenin', I dug up some interestin' state rankings. First is the annual fat state contest, won this year by Mississppi. Runners up are West Virginia, Alabama, Louisana, South Carolina, Tennessee, Kentucky, Oklahoma/Arkansas (tied), and Michigan.

Now I suppose it shouldn't be a surprise that the South is so, er, heavily represented considerin' they deep fry their Thanksgivin' turkeys. Then again, I'm wonderin' how they got to be such fatties when ya' check out this graph: state rankings by percentage of citizens who have no teeth! The winners all have a familiar scent. West Virginia, Kentucky, Tennessee, Alabama, Louisiana, Oklahoma, Mississippi, North Carolina, Georgia, and Kansas (Kansas?).

Guess they're all channelin' Elmer Gantry: "And, when I'm old and gray and toothless…I'll gum it till I go to heaven…"

Sounds like a plan.

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posted by Harrison at 11:45 PM


Figurin' It Out

I haven't worked out that opposable thumbs issue, but I'm still better at figurin' than your average Demo-cat. Smarter, too, 'cause they seem to wanna' make John McCain's military service an issue in their campaign.

They're basically tryin' to say it isn't relevant to an election, which probably makes sense to Wesley Clark considerin' he got booted from the ring after he screwed up at NATO. Jim Webb, on the other paw, thought it was just fine to parade his service when runnin' against George Allen here in Virginia.

So I went diggin' 'round to see if there were any numbers that might help decide if havin' some idea 'bout the seriousness of fightin' and killin' was important for a President to know.

Well guess what?

After pawin' through all the numbers, and countin' on all my toes, I discovered something reeeaal interestin'.

Durin' the combined 12 years of WWII veteran George H. W. Bush's and National Guardsman George W. Bush's presidency, we fought (or are fightin') three wars. The total causalities (through 2007) for both presidencies is 14,156.

Okay, ya' can argue Dubya's National Guard service wasn't "real" military experience, but it was sure more than the guy in between.

Bill Clinton's War is still goin' on and nobody's yowlin' about gettin' our troops outta' Kosovo last I heard. And durin' the 8 years of Clinton's no-military-experience presidency we lost 14,107 of our troops.

Got that? In twelve years, with two war-mongerin', military-experienced presidents wagin' three wars, we've lost 49 more troops than durin' the eight years and one war of the I-loathe-the-military president.

Yeah—I'd say military experience is relevant to bein' elected Commander in Chief.

Liver Snap to Instapundit

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posted by Harrison at 8:10 AM