Name:Harrison Location:United States

The Original Lovable Little Fuzzball

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Friday, May 03, 2013

Hats Off!

Thanks to Islamic terrorists tryin’ to blow up the Boston Marathon, security at Churchill Downs has been increased. Some of the changes make obvious sense, like coolers and tents and backpacks and big purses; fireworks, noisemakers, air horns, and laser lights/pointers. Others, not so much.

The weather forecast for Louisville is all-day rain so, of course, Churchill Downs has banned—umbrellas. Binoculars are banned as well, which seems just plain mean considerin’ how huge a racetrack oval is. If ya’ gotta’ watch the Kentucky Derby on a Jumbotron, ya’ might as well stay home and save a couple thousand dollars.

But nowhere in the list of banned items is a prohibition on the most ostentatious item that has become a Derby staple—ginormous, outrageous hats. Maybe they just plan on havin’ security search each and every chapeau comin’ through the gate. Fine and dandy—at least until these examples show up. And how in the hell do you search this?

Someone’s got issues.

posted by Harrison at 10:30 PM


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