Kibbles 'n Bits® - Canine edition

We've had company these last few days which always makes everyone crazy. A couple of Boston Bull Terriers--Becky and Jerry. Cute little things if you like that pushed-in-face look. But damn can they snore! My ass is draggin' from lack of sleep.

On top of it all, Becky had surgery a week ago, so she's not supposed to run and jump. Yeah right. Tell a terrier (except us, 'cause we already know our manners) not to run and jump. AHM has spent a lot of time racing around, grabbing Becky, and plunking her back in the dog bed. Race, grab, plunk. Repeat as necessary. LG got irritated and decided to set up camp between Becky's bed and the back door. So now it's race, grrrrrrr, "Knock it off!" and Becky plunks herself back in bed. The rest of us just watch the tennis game back and forth, back and forth… Endless entertainment around here.

All and all Christmas was good--good food, good treats, good chew toys. AHM knows what we like. That way we'll never do anything like this:

Dog drives truck into store

"…Henson told police he was standing there in the store when he looked up and saw his dog driving his truck through the window.

"No one was hurt and no humans or animals were cited."

Barry Johnson at The Royal Flush directed me over to this Doug Giles Townhall.com column. He's got it right, 'tho I'm not too crazy about the "pit bull" analogy. For the record, I've never met a bad pit bull--but, then again, I've only met 'em at dog shows. Interesting analysis. It would have been much better, though, if Giles had used the full name: Pit Bull Terrier. Everything he says fits almost every terrier I've ever known--and believe me, I've know a lot! Oh, and in case ya' forgot, except for bein' in Group competition at shows, I'm the alpha dog and I am the greater one--among canines, that is.

Anyway, you decide which you are--and be honest. Unless you're a Demo-cat, of course. Then you've got more problems than this little quiz can solve.

Pit Bull [Terrier] Test
1. Do you have a definite purpose backed up by a burning desire to see it fulfilled?
2. Are you continuously in action working on your plan?
3. Is your mind closed towards all negative and discouraging influences from foes, “friends,” dysfunctional parents, music, books, tapes, T.V. etc?
4. Do you hang out with people who are greater than you in what they have accomplished and who utterly challenge you to excellence?
5. Are you self-reliant and independent?
6. Do you take responsibility for your life, both failures and successes?
7. Do you hate it when you waste time?
8. Do you look at life as a game to be played and played like a champion?
9. Have you become impervious to the criticisms of pusillanimous men and women?
10. Do you boldly face your fears with faith and move towards your goals?

Poodle Test
1. Do you often complain about your life?
2. Do you avoid association with people who have accomplished more than you?
3. Does your life seem futile and your future hopeless?
4. Do you often feel self-pity?
5. Are you envious of those who excel you?
6. Do you worry a lot?
7. Are you overly cautious and negative?
8. Are you indifferent and lacking in ambition and enthusiasm?
9. Do you constantly use excuses and alibis to explain why you haven’t accomplished anything?
10. Do you often fantasize about lying on the front passenger seat of a Cadillac with a pink ribbon in your hair with your favorite chew toy?

posted by Harrison at 10:16 PM