Harrison
Name:Harrison Location:United States

The Original Lovable Little Fuzzball

Here's the straight stuff.


The adventures of Harrison are true.
Try a few of his Crunchy Bites for a taste.
--Alpha Human Mom





Wednesday, December 01, 2004


The Omega Human Threat

Wow! Finally a Homespun Bloggers question I can answer! Sort of…

"What, in your mind, represents the single greatest long-term threat to the United States of America, and what should be done about it?"

Okay. I think our greatest long-term threat are all those
Schrodiner Demo-cats
. Ya' know who I'm talkin' about--those Blue State people who think the Red Staters are livin' in some alternate universe and they're the only "reality based community." (AHM and me are makin' a list--checkin' it twice--and thinkin' about puttin' that list of 'em in the sidebar just so we can keep track.)

Now these Omega humans wanna' spend the next four (eight? twelve?) years changin' the "moral argument" into free food, drugs, and sex (rock 'n roll optional) for all, until the whole country's a pack of limp-pawed utopians with everyone lazin' around like fat fe-lyings who've od-ed on catnip.

Dangerous stuff. We gotta' make sure that change never happens! It'll be tough diggin', though, 'cause there'll be lots of fe-lyings hissin' and spittin' in our faces: [Login: be82096@coolgoose.com PW: 2003md]

"A voice-mail message left last week at the Virginia office of Laptoplobbyist.com, a conservative Internet site, went like this:

"Hi, my name is Rachel, and my telephone number is... I wanted to tell you that you're evil, horrible people. You're awful people. You represent horrible ideas. God hates you and he wants to kill your children. You should all burn in hell. Bye."

"Rachel is Rachel Buchman, 25, a regular reader of Laptoplobbyist's e-mail newsletter - and a reporter with public radio station WHYY-FM (90.9) for about three years. And she left her office number at WHYY in the message last Tuesday."

That's no old hippie sayin' that stuff. That's some blue-state media babe pup gettin' paid with our tax dollars. (Actually AHM's tax dollars, but ya' get the idea.)

Used to be ya' had to do some sorta' work to get your LiverSnaps®, and that work was important even if it was only sweepin' streets. Now these kitty-litter clumps are tryin' to change our "morals," sayin' workers are greedy sinners and it's their moral obligation to make sure all those sainted lazy slackers are rollin' in free Fancy Feast®.

I know ya'll might not think it, but I know somethin' about sin and what that guy Jesus said about people bein' poor. AHM has her friends over sometimes to talk about the Bible and natually we all listen. The other day they were talkin' about this moral business of free money for poor people and readin' the story about how some lady poured expensive oil over Jesus' feet. 'Course someone (maybe a bunch) in his circle of friends had to complain about it, sayin' it was a waste and the money should be spent buyin' food and stuff for the poor. [John 12:3-8]

Well, this Jesus told 'em to back off and stop fussin' 'cause the poor were always gonna' be around but he wasn't. What makes the whole story interestin' is who that Bible writer said did the most complainin'--Judas--the guy getting' pay-offs from the religious bigwigs to turn in Jesus.

Doesn't that just figure. The guy tryin' to make givin' money to the poor a "moral imperative" was the same guy takin' bribes.

Some of you human types never change.



posted by Harrison at 1:44 PM


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