Chicago Demo-cat Machine Air Force
Blackbirds dive-bombing Chicago residents.
"The attacks bare obvious, though rather less lethal, comparisons to the film The Birds and one of the worst offenders has indeed been nicknamed Hitchcock after the movie's director.
"Holly Grosso, a local businesswoman, said she was talking on her mobile phone on a Chicago street last week when Hitchcock went for her…"
Okay, I gotta' give 'em points for that. Haven't ya' always wanted to do the same thing?
"Cyclists are particularly popular - and helpless - targets. "It's making people so they're not being alert when they're biking," Miss [Tara] Soltow told the Chicago Tribune. "Bikers are going to fall off and maybe get hit by traffic."
That's one way to guarantee more Demo-cat voters in November.
And the ultimate solution is…
"Douglas Stotz, a conservation ornithologist at the city's Field Museum…advised anyone targeted by an angry blackbird to stare directly at it. If that fails, barking like a dog should keep it away, he said."
Votin' Republi-canine will do the same thing.
posted by Harrison at 8:03 AM