Steps to Take to Train Your Demo-cat Voter

Okay, it's really a "how to train your cat" article, but ya' can't tell the difference.

COMMUNICATION IS KEY
Mason stresses the importance of simple, short sentences. […] Consistency counts, too. "Use the same words and the same phrases," she continues.

Taxtherich, taxtherich, taxtherich…

"The way you perceive cats is the way they're going to act," Mason warns.

Voters are lazy, stupid and greedy. Give 'em money and they'll vote Demo-cat.

CONSIDER TAG TEAMS
"Cats learn visually by seeing another cat" do what the owner requests, Mason says. So, if you are teaching the command "sit," hold a treat in each hand, lure each cat into sitting, and reward the cat who complies first.

Also known as gettin' a college education.

WILL WORK FOR FOOD
Cats, like people, need motivation, and they should be rewarded and reinforced for doing what you ask.

That one's just too easy…

FIRST, PROVIDE SOLUTIONS
If your cats are scratching the furniture, the first step is to get them in the habit of using a scratching pad or post. "Then you can start to deter them from where you don't want them to scratch," Mason advises.

Bushitler, Bushitler, Bushitler… Vote Obama or you're racist.

Case closed.

posted by Harrison at 11:20 PM