Kibbles 'n Bits®

Ya' know it's bad enough people are tryin' to dumb down humans, but now they're gonna' try to dumb down dumb animals.

Naughty dogs are 'smarter'

That kinda' depends upon your definition of "naughty," of course.

"If your dog tears up your living room every time you go out, it might just be showing signs of genius, visiting British expert and author Jan Fennell says."

That's naughty. And the canine might well be a genius--compared to the idiots who left 'em alone with a perfectly good stuffed sofa.

"Known as "The Dog Listener", Miss Fennell says delinquent dogs are far from irredeemable: "The naughtier they are, the more intelligent they are and they aren't going to be pushed around by an idiot."

See above reference re: owners, lonely dogs, and sofas.

"Miss Fennell, who owns 12 dogs, said she was upset by the "growing use of gadgets" to control dogs, such as choke chains, harnesses and shock collars."

She's right there. Those "naughty" dogs are soundin' smarter by the second. AHM never needs that kind of stuff. One look is worse than any shock collar you can imagine. (That and no cookies at bedtime.)

"Her career as a dog listener began after she saw Monty Roberts, the American "horse whisperer", at work in 1989. "It just inspired me, I can't begin to tell you."

Bet her banker could tell us. Not a whisper of the real secret, though. It's not the canines that need trainin'--it's the humans.

"A court in Italy has ordered a man to pay maintenance to his divorced wife for their pet dog. The woman, not been named for legal reasons, took her former husband to court in the north-eastern town of Udine after he refused to give money towards her canine expenses.

"She said: "He has to pay maintenance for our two children, so why shouldn't he pay for the care of our dog Pepi, which we bought together. With food and vet bills a dog can cost almost as much as a child to raise."

Yeah, but you can't stick a kid in a Kennel Cab® while you party.

A Brazilian company is launching a chewing gum for dogs. Pet care firm Chiclet is selling the gum in shops all over the country, reports Terra Noticias Populares. It is being marketed under the slogan: "Your pet's dog breath will soon be gone."

"Chiclet says the gum, which looks like a bone and is made of edible leather, also helps to de-stress the pets and to clean their teeth."

I'm not too sure about this one. I remember when Stupid Heddy got into the trash and hauled out a pre-chewed wad of Silly Human Female's Double Bubble®. There must have been a lot of chewin' stuff left in it, 'cause she got it stuck on her molars and worked on it forever. Every time she opened her mouth you could see pink rubbery strands connectin' her jaws. She gnawed. She smacked. She flapped her tongue. She twisted her neck sideways and shook her head. She snorted. She pawed her face. She finally swallowed about half of it, but got the rest all over her paw. 'Course then she shrieked like a banshee when it had to be cut out of her hair. It was distressin', all right.

We followed Heddy around for days waitin' to see how that gum came out the other end.

posted by Harrison at 11:42 PM