Name:Harrison Location:United States

The Original Lovable Little Fuzzball

Here's the straight stuff.

The adventures of Harrison are true.
Try a few of his Crunchy Bites for a taste.
--Alpha Human Mom

Monday, September 19, 2005


I love bacon--all sizzlin' and crunchy and crispy. Well, I love it until all the fat congeals and gets rancid. Then it's somethin' not even a fe-lyin' would eat. Okay, a Demo-cat will eat it--they love it. And some Republi-canines seem to be developin' a taste for the disgustin' stuff, too.

PorkbustersN.Z. Bear and Glenn Reynolds have gotten together to encourage bloggers to dig up the pork in their states and post it to the Porkbusters Page. Well, AHM and me went sniffin' around to find a bunch of places Virginia could use some serious liposuction. This pdf link shows all those special, "high priority" projects. Here's a few mil to start ya' off.

Now, my first suggestion for the Commonwealth…ditch anythin' havin' to do with Northern Virginia. They've got plenty of rich people up there to pay for their own stuff. So just redline anythin' with "Arlington, Alexandria, Falls Church, Fairfax County, Fredricksburg, and Charlottesville" in the description, and we might get down to a size 24W.

For starters…

$1,320,000 - Vienna, VA. Maple Avenue Improvement Project. For a single street? What the hell are they improvin' it with?--gold bricks?

$800,000 for Northern Virginia Potomac Heritage National Scenic Trail. Sheesh. They must be getting funded by the word! Guess if ya' stick in enough "heritages" and "nationals" and "scenics" people'll think it's important or somethin'.

And since we're talkin' single street fundin'…

$580,000 - Revitalize Main Street in Dumfries. Ya' might wanna' work on revitalizin' that name first.

$400,000 - Haymarket, VA. Washington Street improvements. C'mon guys. Just slap a little gravel and asphalt into those potholes and you've got your improvements.

And these guys are double dippin' in the Ole' Taxpayer Mill Stream, leavin' us all up the creek without a paddle.

#3404 - $1,280,000 - Old Mill Road Extension.
#5062 - $2,000,000 - Construct Old Mill Road Extension.

Ummm… Does anyone know where Old Mill Road is?

Movin' on to Parks 'n Recreation… I love recreatin' as much as the next canine--'specially if it involves chasin' fe-lyings. But…

$3,400,000 - National Park Service transportation improvements to Historic Jamestown, VA. There's a whole bunch of bacon bein' fried up for Jamestown. Considerin' the place has been around for--what?--400 years?--I think they can manage to wait a few more.

$2,560,000 - Daniel Boone Wilderness Trail Corridor. Acquire site; design and construction of interpretive center; enhancement of trail corridor. Daniel Boone blazed his trail without the feds. Let the visitors "interpret" his feats by doin' likewise.

$1,200,000 - Rocky Knob Heritage Center--planning, design, site acquisition, and construction for trail system and visitors centers on Blue Ridge Parkway. (Rocky Knob. I once knew a bulldog named Rocky Knob. Meanest son-of-a-… Oh. Sorry.) Ya' know, I always figured people drove along the Blue Ridge Parkway to look at the actual Blue Ridge Mountains--not look at pictures of the Blue Ridge Mountains in some "visitors' center."

$1,200,000 - Blue Ridge [VA] Music Center; install lighting/steps, upgrade existing trail system and equip interpretative center with visitor information. It's in the Blue Ridge Mountains. It's music. What other information does a visitor need?

$1,000,000 - The Journey Through Hallowed Ground, Rt. 15 [VA], scenic corridor management planning and implementation, FY 2006. If this is anythin' like "Journey to the Center of the Earth" I might be interested, bein' a terrier and all. But that was a privately funded expedition, wasn't it? And since most of the Commonwealth is considered "hallowed ground" to the folks 'round here, this could be a reeaaallll expensive proposition.

$1,000,000 - Construction and improvements from [VA] Rt. 60 to Mariners Museum and the USS Monitor Center. Mariners. Ocean. Water. 'Nuff said.

$1,600,000 - Construct I-95 Interchange at Temple Ave., Colonial Heights, VA. This is no chump change for a place that already has an interchange with I-95. Maybe the money should be spent teachin' the idiot drivers how to use it so there won't been constant accidents.

$1,600,000 - Conduct planning and engineering for Mayo Bridge in Richmond. This sounds like a Wilder clinic on how to line city councils' deep pockets.

Someone tell me what's the deal with refurbishin' old train stations? I mean it's not like they're gonna' use 'em for anything useful like, oh, real live train travel.

$1,400,000 - Bristol Train Station--historic preservation and rehabilitation of former Bristol, VA train station. Hell, for that kinda' money, they should be rehabilitatin' trains, tracks, 'n trestles from Bristol, VA to Bristol, England!

$919,600 -- Richmond, VA. Renovation and construction for Main Street Station. Think they've been at this for the past decade. Wonder who's takin' whom for a ride?

$800,000 - Fries Train Station and Trail restoration of former train station for use as visitors center and construction of trail along New River, VA. Uh huh. They just wanna' have it their way usin' our money.

$229,000 - Bealeton, VA. Intermodal Station Depot Refurbishment. Now we're payin' for a model railroadin' layout? Geeze. I know a local hobby shop where ya' can buy a depot model for $6.99 plus tax. Email me and I'll give ya' the number.

posted by Harrison at 10:59 PM


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