Name:Harrison Location:United States

The Original Lovable Little Fuzzball

Here's the straight stuff.

The adventures of Harrison are true.
Try a few of his Crunchy Bites for a taste.
--Alpha Human Mom

Thursday, October 13, 2005

Safe Sex…

…for dogs? I tell ya', sometimes I wonder how you humans ever figured out how to walk on your hind legs!

Gotta' admit, though, I would've loved to see a human tryin' to use one of these on their dog.

Dog Condom Creator Saddened Over Product Recall

"The creator of a meat-scented dog condom had high hopes for his invention, until the pooch product was recalled. Phillip Laxis, product developer for dogcondoms.com, admits, “I’m not going to lie to you. It’s a disappointment,” but says the extensive test market studies that resulted in 102 unwanted pooch pregnancies and 15 near- choking incidents justified the recall."

Ummm… If ya' make somethin' "meat-scented" odds are real good dogs are gonna'…oh…try to eat it!

As far as unwanted pooch pregnancies, well, this is pretty standard for doggy love. Imagine tryin' to chase a Rotweiller 'round the yard, tacklin' 'em under a lawn chair, and wrestlin' somethin' that smells like a prime rib balloon in place before the Great Moment.

"Surprisingly, Laxis thinks it’s the fault of the owners, who he envisioned would place the condom on the dog before intercourse and supervise the act. In his words, “People were not anticipating the dogs’ needs. Create a doggy date situation where you can control it, a situation where no one gets hurt.”

Doggy date? Earth to Mr. Laxis…there's no such thing as a doggy date. There's only "you bitch, me stud" bingo! If a human tries to control the situation, you know who's gonna' get hurt.

"While Laxis admits parental pooch supervision might not create the ideal romantic situation, he asks, “Do you see the romance in genital mutilation?”

Don't know what one has to do with the other, but I guarantee finger/hand/arm mutilation if ya' keep stickin' 'em in places they aren't wanted.

"The self-professed dog lover says he’s not giving up on safe sex for schnauzers, and is now working on a female dog condom using “some sort of harness mechanism.”

I've got "some sort of harness mechanism" for Mr. Laxis. It's called a straight jacket.

posted by Harrison at 7:50 PM


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