When Regulations Fail…

…go for Scare Tactics.

Rocking around the Christmas tree could be one of the quickest ways to land in hospital as the party season gets into full swing, The Royal Society for the Prevention of Accidents warned today.

Of about 80,000 accidents expected in the home over the Christmas and New Year break—around 1,000 are likely to be caused by Christmas trees. Most will result from branches poking into people’s eyes, others will cut themselves trimming the tree to shape and some will fall off ladders while adding the decorations.

Not to mention the whole tree fallin' over when your lovable fe-lyin' decides you've bought a new-fangled cat pole complete with shiny toys.

Gift wrappings, cards, glue and adhesive tape are likely to claim hundreds of victims. Look out for small parts falling off decorations or presents as these can choke children.

Provided you haven't already done it yourself after weeks of "I want" whining.

Thousands will have slips and falls over presents or on fat spilled on the kitchen floor. Too much alcohol is also likely to lead to falls or is sometimes drunk by children polishing off the remains of drinks from the previous night’s party. If guests are staying, keep stairs well lit and free from obstacles such as toys… "With a little more care and planning people can have an accident-free Christmas," David Jenkins [RoSPA Product Safety Adviser] said.

Boy, Mr. Jenkins sure knows how to make Christmas an adventure. But he left out the most serious injury incurred durin' the Christmas season: shoppin' bag injuries.

The authors, at Torbay Hospital, Torquay, U.K., report: “Upper limb digital arterial occlusion is uncommon. We present the case of a 47-year-old man with an ischaemic right middle finger (dominant hand) due to trauma from carrying a heavy plastic shopping bag.

Britain—again. Geeze. Almost makes ya' wanna' root for Global Warmin' so they'll sink under the North Sea and end their misery.

posted by Harrison at 3:33 PM