Boo Boo, Moo Moo, and Letikuku Sidumbu

You think I'm makin' it up, don’t you?

Boo Boo,

"…had a "fowl" experience last week. She drowned, but thanks to "mouth-to-beak" resuscitation by a family member who is a retired nurse, she survived…"

There are actually two versions of this story. The tame Breitbart version:

"Marian Morris saved her brother's exotic chicken, Boo Boo, by administering "mouth-to-beak" resuscitation on the fowl after it was found floating face down in the family's pond."

And the Come to Jay-sus! version:

"Jackie Calhoun said…"I came home for lunch about 12:30 p.m. I heard some commotion in the chicken yard. I found Boo Boo face down, floating in the pond."…

"I picked her up and started giving her the Heimlich maneuver. I pushed on her belly and patted her on the back," he said. As a preacher, he also thought to say a few words over her. "I said, 'In the name of Jesus, you will live. You will not die.'"…"

But there's one quote both stories agree on:

[Marian Morris] began mouth-to-beak resuscitation, "I breathed into its beak, and its dad-gum eyes popped open."

…dad-gum?

…Moo Moo,

…the wiener dog has helped save its owner from a hot situation. The little dachshund kicked up a big ruckus as smoke filled a home in Upper Marlboro, outside of Washington, D.C.

"…Moo Moo began barking and scratching at its owner's bedroom door. The woman awoke to find thick smoke filling the home. She called 911 and locked herself and Moo Moo in the bedroom. Firefighters rescued Moo Moo and the woman from a second-floor window."

Frankly, if some ditzy broad named me "Moo Moo" I'd be tempted to let 'er burn—or at least sauté a little.

…and Letikuku Sidumbu

"…was crossing a river [in Zimbabwe] when [a] crocodile seized his arm,… He escaped with injuries to his arm, leg, chest and stomach after local villagers linked hands to set him free.

Villagers had been hoping to retrieve a large enough part of his body for a burial should the crocodile win the contest, Mr Sidumbu told the newspaper. "One thing was clear—that they wanted to salvage at least a piece of my flesh," he said."

Even I couldn't make this stuff up.

posted by Harrison at 3:49 PM