Super Bowl Predictions

Everybody's makin' 'em.

But only mine is the definitive analysis of who will win. I have researched both teams—focusin' on the quarterbacks as the field generals of this particular war—and discovered who's got the edge. Naturally I sought out the most important element—animal companions.

After an exhaustive hour Googlin' the Seahawks' "Matt Hasselbeck," I found nothin'. Zero, zip, zilch. Now that silence is veeeery revealin'. He's obviously hidin' somethin'—and that somethin' is probably…a fe-lyin'!

On top of that, the dirty birdies…er…Seahawks…are still messin' with Texas (A&M that is) by refusin' to give up their 12th Man flag and their fans are mockin' A&M's request:

"We would like to encourage all 12th Men and Women around the world to help Texas A&M's athletic department in its time of financial need. It is very important that sports fans help amateur athletics. We are asking and encouraging that all sports fans, big and small, please send 12 cents to the Texas A&M athletic department to help in their fund-raising campaign."

Hrumph! 12 cents is about all the Seahawks are worth anyway. The only reason they're in the Super Bowl is they got themselves moved to the NFC when they couldn't cut it in the AFC.

As for the Steelers' Ben Roethlisberger, right off the bat I discovered he's a blogger—with a DOG!

Yoi!

Next came this headline: Big Ben stands tall in Super Bowl pocket but misses his dog.

"And what does he miss about going on the road for a fourth consecutive game, even if the Super Bowl is officially a neutral-site game?

"My dog," he said, speaking fondly of the Rottweiler named Zeus that stayed back in Pittsburgh. "If I could have my dog here it would be perfect, but coach Cowher wouldn't let me bring him."

Double yoi!

Isn't the winner obvious?

posted by Harrison at 11:53 AM