Kibbles 'n Bits®

Evel Knievel Jumps in His Grave

"A dog had a miraculous escape when she was blown off a 135 ft cliff by a gust of wind. Tara, a 13-year-old German Shepherd, was being walked by her owner along the blustery cliff top when she was suddenly swept over the edge by 50mph winds gusting in from the English Channel."

Flipper Flips. Dolphin gangs run rampant.


I seez nuthin'.


United States Patent Application #20060014125

"In summary, the purpose of the training system is to substantially increase the [hyperspace] energy of a human being [in order to pull the body out of dimension] who will then have the capability of walking through walls, body levitation, instantaneous healing of infections, full-body teleportation to another location, remote viewing at vast distances in terms of light-years, and looking into hyperspace co-dimensions. …I have been able to experience all the above phenomena…by spinning on my vortex accelerator machine and using this invention."

Relatively speakin', of course.

posted by Harrison at 10:25 PM