Name:Harrison Location:United States

The Original Lovable Little Fuzzball

Here's the straight stuff.

The adventures of Harrison are true.
Try a few of his Crunchy Bites for a taste.
--Alpha Human Mom

Wednesday, October 13, 2004


Greg Hlatky of A Dog's Life confessed over the weekend that he has an attitude about terriers. What he probably doesn't expect is--I agree with him.

"There's one small problem, as illustrated by this story. Some years ago an acquaintance was going on vacation and, needing to have his Smooth Fox Terrier boarded, asked whether we'd put her up for a few days. No problem, we said. There's always room at the inn. We set up an exercise pen for her so the Borzoi wouldn't get to her (or the other way around) and got a crate in the garage.

"This girl spent a solid week barking, inextinguishable by any admonition. In a house where even an isolated bark brings inexorable justice upon the whole pack, the noise rapidly became intolerable."

You might remember me writin' about Maury the Mouth. We call him that not only because he eats whatever isn't nailed down, but because he barks at everything! A bird chirps--Maury barks. A doorbell rings on TV--Maury barks and barks. A squirrel tiptoes along the back fence--Maury barks and barks and barks. A felyin' strolls down the sidewalk across the street--Maury barks and barks and barks and barks. If he had a nice, manly bark maybe it wouldn't be so bad. But nooooo… He's got that yappy, yippy, yelpy bark every damn Smooth Fox, Wire Fox, and Jack Russell Terrier has--the stiletto-in-the-eardrums kind that drives you to suicide or murder--and they're always bouncin' off the walls, beds, chairs, tables, countertops, water bowls, and Little Girl like a canine version of Pong. (LG was not amused which led to a whole litter pan full of other problems.)

AHM is pretty good about trainin' us--well, trainin' the others since I don't need to be "trained" like other canines. She took on the Maury challenge armed with nothin' more than a squirt bottle full of water. The war raged. Maury almost needed scuba gear and AHM spent a lotta' time moppin' the floors. But she got the decible level down to livable, at least when he's visitin' us. (He gets left alone at home, but that's their problem.)

One of the things AHM likes best about us Australian Terriers is 1) we rarely bark without a reeeaaly good reason (like "It's dinnertime, woman!"), and 2) we bark like a big dog. None of that yappy "little" terrier stuff for us. I think there are more of us polite, non-yappy little terriers out there than people realize. I can't say Westies are one of them, though, 'cause we used to have a Westie visitin' who'd hide under the bed and bark at everyone walkin' past. And I've only met my compatriots in the show ring, meanin' they're the best of the best and not into bad behavior.

So Greg, I think you got a rotten deal with that Smooth Fox bitch. Sounds like she was brought up bad. Even Aussies can be brought up bad--believe me, I know. The mere thought of that conjures memories of Junior who almost had Maury the Mouth beat. On the other paw, we are perfect gentleman and ladies. (Everyone says so--including the photographer who took that picture up there.) My dad taught us well and he was accepted in all the best stores on Rodeo Drive so you know he was a class act.

Besides, I don't like getting' water up the schnozzola.

posted by Harrison at 10:09 AM


Blogger Quality Weenie said...

We use to have a chow behind us. It was never allowed in the house and never played with (that is a whole other story)

The thing would bark for hours (I mean 4-5 hours with a record 8 hours )on end. I mean it would bark at the swingset, the trees moving, the house, the pool water, anything.

Thank god for the dog that they finally got some sense and gave it away.

11:47 AM  

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