For Fe-lyin' Aficionados

Just in case they were feelin' superior after my last post about looney dog owners, I present… cat acupuncture.

"Buffy likes to eat lunch while he gets acupuncture."

Right off the bat you know ole' Buff's human is a Demo-cat. Ever notice how über-liberal Demo-cats always name their pets (and sometimes their kids) "Buffy" or "Muffy" or "Fluffy" or "Tipper?" They go straight for the cute. None of them ever consider we might like a good solid name like "Ferdinand" or "Gracie." Or "Harrison."

"The house cat licks a china plate of organic beef and vegetables with 10 tiny needles sticking into his furry spine. Buffy is undergoing acupuncture treatments at Catzablanca Cat Clinic and Hospital to ease his 18-year-old arthritic spine and hips."

Catzablanca? That ranks right up there with Miss Daisy's Dog Camp. Ya' know it's only got a fancy name so the owners can charge fancy prices.

"I see animals I can't help with Western medicine," said [veterinarian Linda] Dupont, one of about 13 veterinary acupuncturists in [CT], certified by the International Veterinary Acupuncture Society.

"After four 20-minute treatments at $65 a session, a $50 consultation and the initial $125 visit, Buffy, who is 88 in human years, acts a little perkier, said his owner, Lori Young. "I think it's helping. He looks out the window now and grooms himself," said Young, of Manchester."

$260 + $50 + $125 = $435. Just so an octogenarian fe-lyin' can lick his butt.

posted by Harrison at 1:42 PM