Name:Harrison Location:United States

The Original Lovable Little Fuzzball

Here's the straight stuff.

The adventures of Harrison are true.
Try a few of his Crunchy Bites for a taste.
--Alpha Human Mom

Monday, May 23, 2005

Kibbles 'n Bits®

Palm D'og Awarded at Cannes

"Away from the bitchy, star-obsessed world of the human red carpet, a small, black and white Mongolian shepherd dog, its name unknown, picked up the Palm Dog, arguably the movie industry's highest accolade for canine cast members.

"The winner, who appeared in Mongolian film The Cave of the Yellow Dog, was not in Cannes to receive the award, but Wolfram Skowronnek Schaer, a German involved in selling the film, picked it up on its behalf. "I hope the dog is still alive," he said. "He is in Mongolia and we will do our best to bring this to him."

Similar hopes were expressed for Michael Moore--last year's winner for Fahrenheit 911.

Measurin' the stayin' power of men. (Women, insert hysterical laughter here.) No mention of Australians in this article, so I guess Dad still holds the record.

"A scientific study to be published this week will suggest that British men are world leaders at sex, at least when they are measured against the clock…

"While British men took on average 7.6 minutes, the typical American took 7 minutes, while the Spanish lasted 5.8 minutes and the Dutch 5.1 minutes. The Turks produced the biggest surprise: on average they spend just 3.7 minutes at it.

Yeah, well, they're still gettin' over that Crusades business, don'ya'know…

Now here's a guy who knows the importance of keepin' the equipment in workin' order. 'Course he moonlights as a whack job…

"An unusual dispute has a St. Louis dog owner in a fight against the city. The controversy started two weeks ago and could end with the dog turned over to the city.

"Saturday is the last chance for Oran Ambus to get his dog out of the city pound. The city says it's a simple matter of getting the dog neutered. Ambus says that's not an option according to the holy word. Leviticus Chapter 22 is part of the scipture Ambus says applies to his case. Ambus, an israelite, says the holy words are a direct reference to the importance of animals left untouched for entrance into heaven. He says his personal beliefs extend to his nine month old rottweiler, now caged at the animal pound.

Rottweiler, hmmmm? I say go with the city's rulin' on this one.

More camel terrorism. Okay…everyone knows camels are called "the ship of the desert." So, can someone tell me where there's a desert--in West Virginia? (And no fair citin' The-Robert-C.-Byrd-Memorial-anything.)

"1,500-pound camel picked an unfortunate place to take a breather. A woman called for help on her cell phone Wednesday after a camel sat on top of her while she was painting a fence. Firefighters and the camel's owner helped move the animal off the woman, who was having trouble breathing, ambulance driver Brent Hicks said. "There is no protocol on something like this," he said."

No protocol vis a vis camels? Where's Homeland Security on this issue!

And now the world has to cope with a monkey terrorist. What next?

"Japanese officials are struggling to capture a rogue monkey roaming the streets of Tokyo… "It's a bit of a problem. The animal welfare staff is trained to catch dogs but not monkeys," said Tokyo city official Hiroyuki Satsuke."

I'm bettin' the monkey's just lookin' to settle the score for that King Kong vs. Godzilla issue.

National Dog-Bite Prevention Week.

Oops. Missed it.

posted by Harrison at 7:36 PM


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