I'm From the Government…

…and I'm here to help you. Unless you're under attack from rooster terrorists.

"There is a real-life chicken run going on in Columbia [MD]. Since March, chickens and roosters have been terrorizing several neighborhoods near the Columbia Town Center. WBAL-TV 11 News reporter Lowell Melser said the community of Barnside in Columbia is truly living up to its name after police said 18 chickens and roosters invaded the neighborhood. Melser said while most have been caught, two are really fowling things up. He reported that two roosters have taken over the neighborhood and said it looks like leaving is not an option.

"Howard County animal control has tried 10 times to catch the pesky poultry, but each time they have come up empty-handed. "They were camped out in that tree," James Duga said. "They didn't catch any roosters, no.

Animal control up a tree. What an image.

Then there are the fe-lyings who hunt the snakes who hang with the rats (who live in the house that taxpayers built). Wait…maybe this is about the politicians who smooze with the snakes who pander to rats. Tough to tell sometimes.

"Mary Jane Hendricks was back at work Monday, but she was moving kind of slow from an injury caused by a cat the [Columbus, GA] put in her workplace to run off the snakes drawn to the building by rats that called it home.

"Hendricks…was descending from a ladder Friday when she stepped on one of the cats, a recent addition to the city's payroll, hired for room and board to chase off the snakes preying on the rats that roamed the racks of the [Cusseta Road] storage center."

Yep. Cats, snakes, rats. Sounds like your average government to me.

posted by Harrison at 6:50 PM