Name:Harrison Location:United States

The Original Lovable Little Fuzzball

Here's the straight stuff.

The adventures of Harrison are true.
Try a few of his Crunchy Bites for a taste.
--Alpha Human Mom

Saturday, May 07, 2005

Hank o' Hair and a Piece o' Bone*

Gotta' say I can't figure out why so many of you humans just can't let go of Laura Bush tellin' one of the oldest farm jokes in civilization. Abel probably pulled the same stunt on Cain. That had unexpectedly dire results and some of you are right up there on the Cain/Abel scale of outrage.

Michelle Malkin didn't think the joke was necessary. Didn't think jokes were supposed to be necessary, just funny--and if you ignoramusi think canines (and fe-lyings) don't like a good joke, you've been livin' in a cave--or North Korea.

Michael Savage spent days obsessin' about that joke. I admit to likin' Michael Savage--'cept when he starts yellin'. Basically I like him 'cause he treats his pal Teddy like royality which shows he's got the right stuff. Hey Mikey!--if Teddy is just gettin' around to tryin' out his equipment at one year old, he's waaaayyy behind the curve. Around here we start excercisin' by age four months. 'Course now that Teddy's decided to go lookin' for love all on his own, you're gonna' have to get over bein' a girly man about ole' farm animal jokes. He might bring home a sweetie to meet the parents and you'll end up as a dog breeder--which can have unexpected benefits.

Now bein' a breeder means words like "stud" and "bitch" are tossed around pretty regularly without givin' 'em much thought. I remember one time AHM was talkin' with another breeder at her favorite outdoor café in CA, negotiatin' another few days of fun for Dad. Bein' outside, we were all sittin' nearby, lined up on a bench, hopin' someone would spill some food in our general direction. Natually there was the usual crowd of tourists takin' our pictures and gushin' about "cute doggies." Guess none of them knew where puppies came from--or what Dad had been up to the month before--or their attitude might have been different.

Somewhere along the line AHM asked "Is the bitch in heat?"

The collective gasp that went up from those tourists could have flattened LA faster that those fake tornadoes in The Day After Tomorrow. Since most of 'em were either foreigners--or from Queens, NY--it was obvious certain words have a universal meanin'. Within seconds they were all scurryin' off as fast as their little legs could move.

Little legs…and little minds. Get a life, people.

All that bein' said…could someone explain the "pull my finger" joke?

*From Jimmie Rodgers' Honeycomb

posted by Harrison at 1:57 PM


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