Sour Pusses

  I always knew there was something just plain   wrong about fe-lyings. ('Course I don't   suppose you can expect much to be right   with this poor sod when you stick a hat on   'em, 'specially one with a pompom.) Well, I   was right and (not to steal a phrase, but I will)   here comes the science.

"Cats are notoriously finicky eaters, as millions of pet owners can attest. Now, there's a scientific theory explaining, at least in part, why cats have such snobby eating habits: genetics. "Researchers at the Monell Chemical Senses Center in Philadelphia and their collaborators said Sunday they found a dysfunctional feline gene…"

Only one?

"…that probably prevents cats from tasting sweets, a sensation nearly every other mammal on the planet experiences to varying degrees…"

I've been noticin' how you humans just love to blame every bit of uncontrolled and/or bad behavior on genetics. You're all programmed to lie, cheat, steal, or murder; get fat, get drunk, get drugged, or get laid. Now you're tryin' to explain ridiculous fe-lyin' behavior on dysfunctional gene. Pu-leeeese! The only dysfunctional gene involved is the one you humans have that can't see through the con game fe-lyings (okay, and some canines) are runnin'. Here's a piece of news for ya: when the finicky fe-lyings get hungry they'll eat anything! They'll even eat rats, for cryin' in a litter pan! How finicky is that?

"This may have implications for all sorts of medical conditions," said Dr. Alan Hirsch, founder of the Smell and Taste Treatment and Research Foundation in Chicago. Hirsch, who was not affiliated with the study, said that the study suggests obesity and related diseases such as diabetes are caused by more than simply overindulging a sweet tooth. "Even in the absence of the taste for sweets, cats still get heavy," Hirsch said.

Oh, yeeaaahhhh.

posted by Harrison at 12:16 AM