Animal Fair*

"I went to the Animal Fair
The birds and the beasts were there
The big baboon by the light of the moon
Was combing his auburn hair…"


The "reluctant" groom was a total cow and security was tight at a recent event, with guests bein' monitored hoof and paw as the search continued for a jailbird believed to be in the vicinity.

But that didn't stop the other attendees from celebratin', with the coyote gettin' pickled and the squirrel gettin' his nuts in a twist over the buffet.

Rumors abound the honeymoon will be Down Under to surf the fabled Gold Coast at the invite of Aussie rodents Harry, Chopsticks and Bunsen (who could not attend the fête due to their "rigorous bathtub training" regimen).

(For the full stories, Read the Rest!)

Groom cow, jailbird chicken take top prizes

"If there's no business like show business then it follows that there is no spectacle like the spectacle of dressing up animals… The winning bird was shown by Samantha Davis who collected $25 as a prize. Keegan Miller won second place and $15 with her cowboy chicken and Michael Leeper won third and $10 with his graduate chicken…

"One cow, wearing a large Cardinals no. 5 jersey was Albert Moo-juls. Another cow was outfitted as a Nas-cow. There also was a football player and a cheerleader and a turtle and a hare… Winning first place and $40 was Audrey Kinzinger of Freeburg with her reluctant groom cow in a tuxedo. Since the costume of the animal and the contestant must follow the same theme, Audrey played the bride."

Horse Detectives

"Tuesday…three well-groomed horses - Slick, Rocky and Wynona - each raised a hoof, patiently waited for it to be inked and set it down on paper to "sign" documents commissioning [Snohomish County's] mounted patrol. "We're going to swear them in, but I don't speak horse," Sheriff Rick Bart joked…

"The three volunteer their time, own the horses and pay for feed and care out of their own pockets. Donations for uniforms and equipment also come from a program called Pennies for Puppies and Ponies. "No tax dollars are going for hay," Bart said."

Dogs graduate from bomb-sniffing school

"U.S. Homeland Security Secretary Michael Chertoff on Thursday paid tribute to one of America's most useful weapons in the war on terrorism -- the nose of a well-trained dog. Chertoff presided over a graduation ceremony for 10 dogs and their trainers, handing out badges on dog collars…"

Coyote gets pickled

"A canyon overlook is a desirable view in San Diego, but in Golden Hill, the sight of coyotes may be getting a little too close for comfort… A coyote's natural instinct is to stay out of sight during the day. The animals usually shy away from people. But [KGTV] 10News caught a coyote unable to feed himself. His head was stuck in a pickle jar, and neighbors have no idea how long he's been like that.

"Animal Control officers are having a tough time trying to catch the coyote. He apparently still has enough strength to run and hide. "We want to get that pickle jar off this coyote's head. For humane reasons, we don't want him to suffer. We don't want him to go through life with a pickle jar on his head," [Virginia Moreno, from Animal Control] said."

Greedy squirrel trapped by nuts

"A squirrel learned not to overeat when he was caught in a bird feeder after scoffing too many nuts. The bushy-tailed thief had managed to squeeze his way into the wire cage, but after a huge feed his belly had grown so much that he couldn't escape. Things soon got worse, as the feeder fell off its pole and rolled towards a stream… Luckily he was spotted before reaching the water. The RSPCA cut him loose and set the nut-napper free!"

Surfin' Mice

"Canaberra (Reuters) - Australia -- land of sun, sand and ... surfing mice? Australian Shane Willmott is training three mice, named Harry, Chopsticks and Bunsen, to surf small waves on tiny mouse-size surf boards at beaches on the country's Gold Coast. The mice are put through rigorous bathtub training and then some have their fur dyed when it is time to hit the beach."

(AHM knows more useless kids songs than I thought existed! -- Harrison)

(Since I also know where the key to the dog food bin is kept, maybe I should make you start singing for your supper. -- AHM)

*Animal Fair

"I went to the Animal Fair
The birds and the beasts were there
The big baboon by the light of the moon
Was combing his auburn hair

"You should have seen the monk
He sat on the elephant's trunk
The elephant sneezed and fell on his knees
And that was the end of the monk
The monk, the monk, the monk,

"Said a flea to a fly in a flue
Said the flea "Oh what shall we do?"
Said the fly, "Let us flee!"; said the flea, "Let us fly!"
So they flew through a flaw in the flue

"I went to the Animal Fair
The birds and the beasts were there
The big baboon by the light of the moon
Was combing his auburn hair

"You should have seen the monk
He sat on the elephant's trunk
The elephant sneezed and fell on his knees
And that was the end of the monk
The monk, the monk, the monk,
The monk, the monk, the monk?"


Thanks to Dave Barry's Blog and Fark.

posted by Harrison at 12:15 PM