Eat, Drink, and Be Merry…

Or be from Tennessee. Guess Silly Human Female has been porkin' it up over there. The free food is runnin' out in her town.

"The free food’s not flowing at the [Nashville] Metro Council anymore. The city lawmaking group faces its longest period of time without free dinners since its term commenced in 2003."

'Course all that eatin' has consequences, not that I'd ever have to go to one of these places.

"An animal charity is looking for the UK's fattest pets and plans to send them to fat camp. PDSA is looking for the pets after research suggested owners are overfeeding their animals reports the Mirror.

"The eight chosen pets will be put through their paces on a 100-day challenge on TV by Kevin Adams, star of BBC's Fame Academy. The pet at the end of the show with the greatest proportional weight loss wins their owner a holiday."

So they can eat a bunch of junk, get fat, and have to go to a human fat camp. I think I detect a pattern here…

As for drinkin'… AHM won't let me and now I know why. She's scared of boostin' my brainpower!

"Research by the Australian National University in Canberra suggests drinking in moderation boost your brainpower. But none at all, or too much, can make you a dullard."

Uh… Then again… Drinkin' didn't seem to help these guys.

"Robyn Webb from the Whangarei Native Bird Rescue Centre said the kereru had been eating guava berries, which fermented in their crops, causing them to become intoxicated. This year there hasn't been much food in the forest, so the birds have been coming into town to gorge on the ripe berries here, she told NZPA.

"The problem is they are vulnerable to more predators, like cats and dogs." The centre had fielded many calls from members of the public, who had found "lethargic" kereru sitting on the ground after falling out of trees or bumping into windows while under the influence."

So much for bein' merry. Sounds like they're headed straight for the "tomorrow we shall die," part.

posted by Harrison at 11:28 AM