Name:Harrison Location:United States

The Original Lovable Little Fuzzball

Here's the straight stuff.

The adventures of Harrison are true.
Try a few of his Crunchy Bites for a taste.
--Alpha Human Mom

Saturday, October 15, 2005

A Living Dog is Better Than a Dead Lion*

Pluto sniffed out this debate between John Hawkins and Scarloc DB over at Right Wing News. While it's nice to see some other people are catchin' on to the dog-cat issue…hellooooo... I've been talkin' 'bout this for over a friggin' year!

The whole debate is really very simple. There are Demo-cats and there are Republi-canines. The first think the universe revolves around them and their issues, which, naturally, are the only issues with any validity. They sit around in their ivory kitty tree-houses or in front of computers admirin' themselves while tryin' to tell the rest of us workin' stiffs how we're mean, selfish, and lackin' compassion. (Yeah, right. Like feedin' time at the local cattery is a nirvana of smilin' and sharin'.)

Meanwhile, the Republi-canines have to do the grunt work of tryin' to protect and preserve what we've helped humans build for the last five or ten thousand years. Anyone ever seen an anti-lootin' sign sayin' "Stay Out! I've got a gun and a big, mean fe-lyin' inside?" Was it a fe-lyin' who dragged his little master out of the waves of the tsunami? Was it a fe-lyin' gettin' the animal Victoria Cross for sniffin' out bombs in Iraq? Can you imagine the SAS parachutin' fe-lyings behind enemy lines to help the resistance? I don't think so. (Gotta' say I wouldn't mind witnessin' that last event!)

Pluto is callin' for more dog-bloggers. Don't think he means the sort that just let their human post cute little pictures of 'em either. 'Course, ya' gotta' remember dogs are the strong, silent type--unless humans mistreat us, of course, then we're gonna' let ya' know our opinion loud and long. No, most dogs aren't as articulate as Pluto and me. They express their opinion in other ways. Me, I'm not the sofa-shreddin' type. I prefer more subtle methods, like whizzin' on your Birkenstocks. And not many canines have Alpha Humans who understand us. Most of 'em are stuck with Omegas like Silly Human Female.

The almost-as-handsome-as-me Cal the Wonderdog in the frozen north and the original dog-blogger Baccus, doG of Whine from Down Under are a couple of good bloggers waivin' the banner of caninedom. And, just like Ferdy is the exception to the usual Demo-cat rank and file, Hollywood Dog is the exception to the Republi-canine camp. 'Course Jinks was rescued from a death camp by a couple of left-coasties, so it's natural he'd adopt their outlook on life. In spite of that, he still knows the truth 'bout felyings.

So, to Scarloc DB, who doesn't have the balls to use a real name (do fe-lyings have balls?) here's my rebuttal.

*Ecclesiastes 9:4

posted by Harrison at 1:03 PM


Post a Comment