Kibbles 'n Bits®

Subversive fe-lyin' outed tryin' to wreck homeowners' dream.

"A cat was accidentally built into the walls of a new house in Kansas. "I thought I heard something earlier that morning," a construction worker said. The homeowner and workers heard the cat making noises.

"We started banging on the walls and bathtub, and (the cat) started again," said homeowner Emily Vano. "Our voices probably triggered him to say, 'I'm here, I'm here!'"

The builder estimated the cat had been stuck in the walls at least three weeks. "The contractor figured out he was just under the tub and got dry walled in," Vano said."

al-Qitty hijacks plane.

"Czech Airlines had to fly a cat home on an empty plane after the animal escaped from the cargo hold. Workers could not find the cat and officials judged it was too dangerous to allow the passengers back on board."

Damn straight. Claws. Box cutters. Same thing. 'Course this is not the first time al-Qitty operatives have taken down a plane. How many more attacks will it take before the Euros begin takin' airline security seriously?

To aggravate things, avians are flexin' their muscles as well.

"A runaway ostrich that eluded police caused severe damage when it attacked a Mercedes car during a three-hour rampage.

"Somehow it got out of its pen. We sent two patrols after it, but in the meantime it caused some damage to the bonnet and bumper of a Mercedes before we caught it," a police official in Cyprus said. The ostrich caused considerable damage when it pounced on the car,…"

Keyword: pounced. Veeeeerrrry fe-lyin'…

The moose, however, spent a bit too long at the bar of the Animal Anarchists Lodge.

"They rarely have problems with drunks or rowdy animals, but residents of an elderly home in southern Sweden had to deal with both when a pair of intoxicated moose invaded the premises.

"The moose — a cow and her calf — had become drunk over the weekend by eating fermented apples… Police managed to scare them off once, but the large mammals returned to get more of the tempting fruits. This time the moose were drunk and aggressive, forcing police to send for a hunter with a dog to make them leave."

And, once again, it's a canine to the rescue.

posted by Harrison at 8:32 PM