What Women Want

…for Valentine's Day.

Me!

"It seems that Valentine’s Day is no longer only about romance and red roses. It’s also about doggie drool and furry affection, because some women appear to prefer hot dogs to cool guys.

"Doggy drool?" I want it known I do not drool! This was obviously written by a jealous fe-lyin'-type person. Everyone knows we canines set a great example for male humans, not to mention givin' 'em somethin' to shoot for...

On the other paw—there are cool guys out there?

According to a new national survey of 1,000 American adults — 500 dog owners and 500 non-dog owners — conducted by the American Kennel Club (AKC), 34 percent of the women dog owners endorsed the statement, “If my dog was a man, he’d be my boyfriend.”

And an overwhelming majority — nearly 90 percent — agreed that their dog had at least one endearing quality that they’d like to see in their significant other.

Like showin' up on time for dinner. I even tried bringin' a present or two, but that quality didn't turn out to be quite so endearin'.

"People are so in love with their dogs, it even affects their interpersonal relationships with other people, says Gail Miller, [AKC] spokes-
person. “Dogs are so important to their owners that they can...make or break a relationship.”

"So what are the doggy traits that make the women surveyed sigh? Pooches have a perennial good mood. They are always willing to spend time together, and always up for a cuddle on the couch. They're keen to exercise, and rarely complain about what is served for dinner.

"Other key qualities,…are that "dogs don’t talk back and you don’t have to worry about their emotions. In fact, you don’t have to worry about what they are thinking either," says [New York psychologist Joel] Gavriele-Gold, author of the best-selling book When Pets Come Between Partners: How to Keep Love — and Romance — in the Human/Animal Kingdom of Your Home."

Who's he tryin' to con! Obviously all those fools who bought that book. Ya' know, we may not speak Engish, but there's a reason your favorite chair's leg is decorated with tooth marks and the cushion feels a bit damp. In fact, some of us (you know who you are) might just eat the whole damn cushion to express our emotions.

"Dogs also shower their owners with total adoration, says Gavriele-Gold, who currently shares his home with a male and a female Bouvier des Flandres. “This has not always been the case in many of my human female relationships. Something gets lost when the significant other is capable of speech.”

'Specially with someone like him who's obviously enamoured with the sound of his own voice.

  "Robert Yau, founder of the San   Francisco-based Datemypet.com, the   online pet dating service that matches up
  people with pets [says] “We have found
  that a puppy really helps to break the
  ice."…

Unless said puppy tinkles on your tootsies, which has been known to happen. 'Course that does go a long way to separatin' the men from the boys.

"Someone with a cute puppy projects a nurturing, caring personality that attracts the opposite sex, says Yau. A person with a friendly dog comes across as friendly and responsible…"

Different dog breeds are also known for particular personality traits. Anyone trying to find the perfect mate by relating the type of dog they have in their lives should take note that German shepherds, Norwegian elkhounds, labrador retrievers and golden retrievers are considered to be very loyal. Boston terriers and French bulldogs have a good sense of humor. Border collies and dobermans are the athletes of the dog world. For intelligence, there’s nothing like a wire fox terrier, while bulldogs and pomeranians make perfect couch-potato companions.

And then there's me, who's got 'em all!

But, as they say, if ya' can't be with the one you love, love the one you're with.

Pucker up, sweetie!

posted by Harrison at 10:38 PM