Al-Qitty Terrorism Plot Foiled
To make things worse, the local fools are callin' it "the sweetest illegal immigrant we've ever met." Yeah, right. Luckily the sneaky fe-lyin' was caught and detained, but now the saps are tryin' to find it a home here in the U.S.
Are they all forgettin' how the al-Qitty agent arrived—hidin' in a semi filled with fertilizer? No doubt there was a plan apaw to hijack the truck for feline-onious deeds.
"The migrant — a cat — hopped aboard a semitrailer hauling fertilizer from Esterhazy, Saskatchewan, to Eldridge, near Jamestown [ND]. Customs agents at the border alerted the driver, but no one could catch the feline. When the semi arrived in Eldridge, the furry stowaway was still clinging to the frame…
"The James River Humane Society in Jamestown is trying to find it a home. "I don't want to see her deported now that they've tightened the immigration laws," Society spokeswoman Deb Archambeau joked. "She's sweet and friendly and deserves a good home."
'Course the fe-lyin' is gonna' lie low—become a sleeper, which is what cats do best anyway. Don't be deceived. This illegal has no intention of findin' a job, even one American fe-lyings won't do. It's just here to take advantage of our social safety net—the free vet services, the subsidized housing, the food handouts. It's already takin' up space that should be goin' to a U.S. fe-lying.
I say deport the sucker now. Its original plan might have been stopped, but it's undoubtedly already workin' on Plan B.
posted by Harrison at 2:22 PM