Name:Harrison Location:United States

The Original Lovable Little Fuzzball

Here's the straight stuff.

The adventures of Harrison are true.
Try a few of his Crunchy Bites for a taste.
--Alpha Human Mom

Wednesday, January 02, 2008

Small Crunchy Bites

I wouldn't recommend orderin' the combo plate at this place.

"Barnegat, NJ - A building overrun with wild cats will get a new life later this year as a combination seafood restaurant and bait and tackle shop."

More evidence that beer and buffaloes don't mix.

"A man who took one of his pet buffaloes for a ride at a ranch north of Phoenix on New Year's Eve ended up being bucked off the animal and trampled, authorities said. The unidentified 75-year-old man was flown to a Scottsdale hospital with non-life threatening injuries."

Farm Aid for hamsters.

"France…has been threatened by the European Commission with…fine[s] – for failing to protect the only colony of wild hamsters in western Europe. The…"great hamster of Alsace"… The problem facing the hamsters is that once-plentiful cabbages…have now been abandoned by farmers for more lucrative maize. So when the hamster awakes from its hibernation in March there is nothing to eat."

Didn't Darwin have a theory about that?

"In 2000 a rescue plan was launched, with the government making [monies] available to encourage farmers to plant crops other than maize. Given that maize earns far more than other crops, the attempt failed."

Capitalism in France. Who knew.

Remember when we only had cute little glowworms crawlin' around?

"Chinese scientists expect the world's first rabbit cloned by using a biological process that takes cells from a fetus will be able to reproduce in three months. The genetically-modified cloned rabbit glows green under a fluoroscope, a result of being injected with special genes. Scientists hope this special trait will be transferred to the rabbit's offspring."

Should we be worryin' that scientists in Korea and China seem to be addicted to glow-in-the-dark animals?

Japan, on the other paw, has gone from transitors to trash.

"Hello Kitty products target young males. The cute cuddly white cat from Japan's Sanrio Co., usually seen on toys and jewelry for girls and young women, will soon don T-shirts, bags, watches and other products targeting young men, company spokesman Kazuo Tohmatsu said Friday. "We think Hello Kitty is accepted by young men as a design statement in fashion," he said."

Three score sharpened canines in three pounds of canine. Musta' seemed that way to this sucker.

"The California Highway Patrol managed to catch one of four minivan thieves, thanks to a three-pound Pomeranian-Chihuahua mix named Tink. Police were responding to a call of a stolen minivan, with three juveniles and an adult as the suspects. The four fugitives then crashed the vehicle into a hillside near the home of Wendy Anderson. One of the suspects fled, and took refuge under a neighbor's motor home. Tink…found him in his hiding place, and proceeded to chase him straight into the woods… "My son's little dog…found one of the alleged runners underneath a motor home in the neighbor's yard." [Anderson said.] "He ran from a three-pound dog."

And just in case ya' didn't get enough useless fe-lyin'-related stuff this past holiday…

"The Catsifier™ is basically an animal pacifier. It consists of a high quality pillow and a zippered, removable pillow cover with a faux fur cat sewn to one side. There are four nipples securely attached to the furry cat, which allows the kitten or other young animal to comfortably and safely satisfy the need to suck without damaging home furnishings and decor."

Oh yeah. Like a fe-lyin' will always do what ya' want 'em to.

posted by Harrison at 11:01 PM


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