These Guys Need to be Laid…

…to rest. Spring Hill (Tennessee, of course) City Attorney Andrew Hoover and City Administrator Ken York are such fe-lyings. Where else but in Tenneessee would you find two grown men obsessing about a duck-shaped piece of sponge?

"That duck is a sexual toy, and it was on display. That was a vibrator on display in public view."

Ya'd think it was bein' used in public view! 'Course good ole City Administrator Ken York never said how he knew it was a vibrator…

Rubber Ducky, you're the one,
You make bathtime lots of fun,
Rubber Ducky, I'm awfully fond of you;
Woo woo be doo



Ya' think maybe his wife's havin' some bath time fun without him?

Well, now Kenny has dragged in the legal eagles--er--eagle--er--vulture.

"…yesterday, Katherine Williams, president of Passions & Pleasures, received a certified letter in the mail saying Spring Hill was revoking her business license, effective Monday. ''If she wants to do business in the city, she needs to have her property rezoned for a sexually oriented business,'' explained City Attorney Andrew Hoover. ''As it is, she's in violation.''

"Williams sells her wares, which include body lotions, lubricants and vibrating toys, through home parties.

"That raises another zoning problem, since parties are held in different locations around the city. ''She's going to have to determine one place to conduct business or else get each property where she's selling the products rezoned,'' Hoover said…

''She listed 'bath and body product' on her application for a business permit,'' Hoover said. ''We called up her business on the Internet, and it's nothing like that. Those products fall within the category of sexually oriented businesses.''

Do the voters know their elected officials are surfin' the net for porn? Guess they'll say it really isn't "surfin' for porn" (since the "online shopping" page is down who'll know) 'cause they needed to view the evidence. All the evidence. Every last little itty bitty bit of evidence.

I'll tell ya' what I wish. I wish every person in Tennessee would mail these two pieces of kitty litter a rubber ducky. Hey, the City of Spring Hill claims they want your feedback.

PO Box 789, 199 Town Center Pkwy, Spring Hill, TN 37174. ken@springhilltn.org

Tell 'em this:
Put Down the Duckie*
"You gotta put down the duckie
Put down the duckie
Put down the duckie
Yeah, you gotta leave the duck alone
You gotta put down the duckie
Put down the duckie
Put down the duckie
If you wanna play the saxophone!"

*Words by Norman Stiles/Music by Christopher Cerf

posted by Harrison at 1:12 AM