Name:Harrison Location:United States

The Original Lovable Little Fuzzball

Here's the straight stuff.

The adventures of Harrison are true.
Try a few of his Crunchy Bites for a taste.
--Alpha Human Mom

Wednesday, October 20, 2004

The Alpha and the Omega

Well, here's someone who gets the bottom line. I've been tellin' ya' forever about needin' to have an Alpha in charge. And it's exactly the reason I can safely say canines are republicans and fe-lyings are democrats.

"George W. Bush is a throwback to the strong male that, until 30 years ago, was the accepted norm. It is only because America's sexual culture has become genderless that Bush's normal masculine qualities are treated with suspicion. The election this November will determine whether the nation still wants to be led by an Alpha male."

If ya' want a strong pack, ya' gotta' have a strong Alpha. Without one ya' don't get the prime huntin' ground and the best food. And other packs will start invadin' and stealin' your stuff until your whole society is wrecked.

"When it comes to making strategic decisions, soft men are useless. More preoccupied with emotion than reason, they seek to please everyone rather than solve the problem. And what do they do when they need to show they're real men? They don't show it; they talk about it."

Uh huh. Seems to me I've heard that idea somewhere before.

"The laws of Alpha behavior are the backbone not only in the world of animals but also of men. Alpha types come in all forms, good and evil, male and female. They are born, not created. They have common traits such as focus, egocentricity, high energy, and strong wills. Great success, in high stake games, is usually the result of Alpha types. Leaders, not followers, shape this world. As in nature, a predator -- the Alpha type -- instinctively smells out weakness and vulnerability. No nation that expects to be respected and feared can be led by anyone other than a true Alpha-type personality."

Yeah, I know I'm repeatin' myself. And I know I'm a lightweight in the political commentary department. But you could do a lot worse than listen to me. (You could listen to those fe-lyings on Kerry's side, for instance.)

"Canines are very society-oriented. We understand that alpha males (and alpha females) are necessary for an orderly society. Of course we do tend to beat the shit out of the other guy to get the upper paw, but hey--we're dogs for cryin' out loud! Still, we have pack laws we follow and a pecking order. Generally we respect our alpha without a lot of major pissing contests. (At least none that he can see, anyway.)"

Anyone getting' the message yet? Listen up! We gotta' have a leader, not a fe-lying schmuck who worries more about rubbin' on the UN's shins than grabbin' the bad guys by the short hairs.

UPDATE: Mr. Minority found proof of the Geek Factor--though there is some commentor debate about whether it should be "geek" or "dork." I just call it fe-lyin'!

posted by Harrison at 4:08 PM


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