Name:Harrison Location:United States

The Original Lovable Little Fuzzball

Here's the straight stuff.

The adventures of Harrison are true.
Try a few of his Crunchy Bites for a taste.
--Alpha Human Mom

Wednesday, January 26, 2005

Homespun Symposium X

Paulie at The Commons poses this week's question.

"I've notice that a seemingly large proportion of the blogosphere is composed of "cat bloggers." What are the political parties your cats belong to, and how did you derive their determination? Please reply for each cat, with examples. If you do not own a cat, could you post on how you think cats determine their political affiliations (purely speculative, I know), or why cat owners are such nuts for their cats?

Dog owners: You know dogs are either Greens or Whigs. Please explain the Greenness or Whiggery of your dog(s).

I am one of only two Homespun Bloggers (to date) completely qualified to answer this question since all other bloggers are humans speaking for their live-in animals. I, of course, thanks to my superior intellect, speak for myself (as even Glenn Reynolds notes).

This question is about a topic I've covered previously and written about extensively. There are Republi-canines and Demo-cats. Rather self-explanatory isn't it? However, I'm always willing to repeat myself until you humans get it right--and I'm not goin' away 'til you do.

Now, I'm not at all sure why Paulie--for whom I had the greatest respect--thinks dogs are either Greens or Whigs. (Guess I'll have to write it off to Stockholm Syndrome--too many years held hostage by fe-lyings.) Canines are not environmentally conscious--just consider the amount of holes my less fastidious brethren dig or how thoroughly we can obliterate any landscape--natural or planned--if engaged in hot fe-lyin' pursuit.

As for Whiggery… Hardly! Canines are very much advocates of strong executive leadership. Power disperses outward through the pack with each member having certain responsibilities, but the direction of those activities comes from the Alpha. The Apha Human, of course, is the undisputed President. Without an Alpha there is anarchy. Or a fe-lyin' paradise. Same thing. And don't forget we choose our Alphas, human or canine. (You Omega Humans know who you are. You're the ones who get our best Robert DeNiro impression whenever you're foolish enough to boss us around. "You talkin' to me? You talkin' to me? You talkin' to me?")

As for fe-lyings… Well, they're the ultimate welfare queens--livin' off the fat of the land. And packin' it on, too. There's a reason the expression "fat cat" is not a term of endearment, ya' know. They'll ignore you while they live under your roof, eat your food, barf on your bed, leave hair on your sweaters and dead rodents in your shoes. Then they'll demand your attention at the most inconvenient time and claw your butt to ribbons if they don't get it.

And if that doesn't sound like a Demo-cat I don't know what does!

Other Commentary: Ogre's Politics and Views; Ruah; The Commons at Paulie World; The Redhunter; Secure Liberty; Dagney's Rant; Nixon's Memoirs.

posted by Harrison at 11:57 PM


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