Name:Harrison Location:United States

The Original Lovable Little Fuzzball

Here's the straight stuff.

The adventures of Harrison are true.
Try a few of his Crunchy Bites for a taste.
--Alpha Human Mom

Wednesday, February 09, 2005

Reverse Anthropomorphism

Wipe that surprised look off your muzzle that I know that word, okay? I live it!

But I digress… Ya' know, I'm not sure why fat pets are a surprise. Any real Alpha Human knows the pack responds to their lead. If you're stuffin' yourself, you're probably stuffin' us, too--and I don't mean in the taxidermy sense.

I've talked about this before. (Link to original article no longer valid, unfortunately.) Fat is fat. And fat animals (human, canine, fe-lyin', equine, et al) are not gonna' be healthy. There's nothin' more disgustin'--or downright hilarious--than seein' Waddles the Dachshund tryin' to chase a rabbit. (Ever see a rabbit laugh?)

Bottom line, we canines and fe-lyings don't have opposable thumbs so we are not dishin' up the kibble and vittles on our own. (Okay, I learned how to open the cabinets but AHM moved the cookies to the top shelf after our first--and only--party. Where's Red when you need him?)

But--Omega humans are always ready to throw money at someone else to solve their problems. Weird habit of theirs that we canines cannot figure out. So of course they would rush finance a fat camp for their pets

"A fat camp style clinic has opened specialising in helping pampered pets shed a few pounds. The new clinic is examining why overweight pets are picking up "human lifestyle" illnesses like diabetes, arthritis and even depression…

"Fat cat Clarence was the first patient to visit The Royal Canin Weight Management Clinic, at the University of Liverpool's Small Animal Hospital.

Why am I not surprised a "fat cat" was the first?

"The clinic is taking in fat, lazy and sad cats and dogs referred to it by veterinary practices across Merseyside…

"Within weeks it will aim to turn them into fitter, leaner and happier animals, through an intensive regime of crash diets, exercise and "lifestyle" advice.

I suppose it's better than payin' for liposuction.

"There are some obvious strong parallels with human obesity and obesity in pets, they share the same environment so it is not surprising."

Gee…d'ya' think? How much are they payin' this guy to tell 'em the obvious? I want a piece of that action.

posted by Harrison at 12:04 AM


Blogger Smallman said...

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1:51 AM  
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11:58 AM  

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