I, Canine

I love music as much as the next guy--especially when AHM is playin'. Usually. Most of the time. Sometimes. Okay, I'm not too crazy about listenin' to her practice.

What I can't understand, tho, is the way you humans clamp those weird things around your head and pipe music straight into the old eardrums. Geeze--how can you stand it?--all that shriekin' and screechin' and poundin'. I wanna' howl just thinkin' about it.

Well, since you insist on doing such really dumb stuff, here's an amusin' invention for the canine aficionados among you.

"Sega launches iDog, the musical canine robot...a portable dog shaped speaker. So you could totally hook up your iPod to the iDog to share your music.

"The iDog can express 4 emotions joy, anger, grief and happiness, using its neck, ears and 7 LEDs built into the face to let you know what it is feeling, e.g., when you touch the tail, the iDog gets angry, and makes a cute sound."

Touch my tail and that "cute sound" will be the combination of snapping teeth and shrieking human.

"Looks aside, it does the usual stuff we’ve come to expect from robot pets, like responding “emotionally” to touches to its various sensors. Its main claim to fame is its musical ability, though it’ll improvise tunes based on 720 internal musical phrases, changing the mood of the music as you wave your hand over the phototransistor on its head."

I'd create lots of improvisational tunes if that wavin' hand is holdin' a nice big piece of liver.

"They’ve even included an external audio jack on its hindquarters for you to connect an external player;… And yes, it does waggle its ears and paws in time to the music."

Stick a jack in my hindquarters and I guaran-damn-tee I'll do more than waggle my ears and paws. Just ask my vet.

"According to the Japan Today news site, the four-legged automaton features a number of switches located on its nose and other parts of its diminutive body that are used to create and play music. It has other buttons that cause the pet to light up or express emotions."

Ooooo--I like people pushin' my buttons. Find the right one and I reeeeallly light up and emote like crazy.

"The mechanical beast also features onboard sensors that detect and react to movements when it is held in an owner's hands."

Guess that means you can make it do the back leg scratch if you rub its belly. And no, if you value your button-pushin' fingers, don't even think of tryin' that on me.

posted by Harrison at 11:56 PM