You Talkin' To Me?

Hope not, 'cause I'm not listenin'. I can't think of one thing I'd wanna' say to this lady. (Ya' gotta' go look.)

"Lorelei Hunt has been helping people communicate with their animals since 1996. Using telepathy, she conveys what an animal is thinking and feeling as well as answers to any questions that their humans ask them."

Okay I can think of one thing. And she wouldn't have to be communicatin' with me very long before she'd figure out I'm tryin' to say Stop eatin', lady! And take that dog of yours for a run occasionally. Or a swim. Or a walk. Or just get the hell out of the chair for somethin' more than visitin' the refrig.

"Lorelei has completed advanced studies under Anita Curtis and Penelope Smith, who is a pioneer in the field of Interspecies Telepathic Communication."

So she's an Interspecies Telepathic Communicator, eh? Hmmmm… Sounds like those red-shirt guys that were always getting' dismembered, disintegrated, disincorporated or otherwise disposed of in that old Star Trek series.

Who needs an interspecies translator anyway. I do just fine in the communicatin' department. Fe-lyings spit--I growl and chase. Mice squeek--I growl and chase. Birds squawk--I growl and chase. Demo-cats run for office--I growl and chase. How hard is it?

posted by Harrison at 12:02 AM