Marauding Marsupials

(Yeah, I know these guys aren't marsupials--cut me a break, will ya'?)

Clean-up on Aisle 9

"So exactly how do you stop a charging deer in Wal-Mart? You take away its credit card. Shoppers at the Wal-Mart here wish they would have thought of that. It would have been a whole lot easier…

"The store's greeter didn't see the deer enter through the exit, but she did see the critter when it hit the slick floor and fell. It quickly recovered and went scurrying down the aisles.

"After doing a little looking around, the deer was tackled by a customer. Others of the human persuasion then tied the deer's legs so it couldn't kick, placed it in a shopping cart and pushed it outside."

AHM tried to put me in a shopping cart once, at one of those pet stores where pets are actually allowed. Not a positive experience for either of us, 'specially after I figured out you could screw up the wheels by jumpin' from one side to the other. That was fun while it lasted--about ten minutes--or until I managed to ricochet the cart into the chew bones display. Eureka! Manna from Heaven falling all around. 'Course I immediately learned the fate of sinners in the hands of an angry God…

Good thing I didn't try this little trick (article with picture).

"The dalmatian wears sunglasses while riding the motorbike and sidecar in Nanjing. Its owner says the dog can drive for about 200 metres at speeds of up to 5mph."

Sure beats haulin' a kid's wagon around, although the sidecar is red…

Howard the Duck Strikes Back.

"When Steve Schneider of Normal [IL] got home from the gym Friday night, he found shattered glass in the driveway and a big hole in a picture window.

"Schneider said he cautiously peeked through the front door and saw a large duck sitting in the middle of his living room.

"He tried to lure the duck out the back door using bread as bait, but the flustered fowl hit the ceiling, flying through several rooms and into a clothes closet. That's when [Schneider] called for help."

No word on whether Tim Robbins responded. (He's probably too busy tryin' to destroy all the remainin' prints of that movie.)

posted by Harrison at 3:28 PM