Name:Harrison Location:United States

The Original Lovable Little Fuzzball

Here's the straight stuff.

The adventures of Harrison are true.
Try a few of his Crunchy Bites for a taste.
--Alpha Human Mom

Wednesday, February 15, 2006

Small Crunchy Bites

As usual, when there's work to be done, they draft the dogs.

"Dirt-diggers with four legs were the center of attention Thursday as ground was broken for a new animal shelter to be called Animal Village.

"Several dogs were brought to the site of the shelter on the city's south side to help break ground for the building to be erected by Little Rock Animal Services. Also present were several city officials."

And you could tell the two groups apart—how?

"The new $1.7 million facility will replace a city shelter built in 1960, City Manager Bruce Moore said, next to a dump."

Okay, pups, this is an example of how not to write a news story. Reread that last sentence and try to figure out what's bein' said. Is Little Rock next to a dump instead of just being a dump? Is the old shelter next to a dump? Is Bruce Moore next to a dump?

Or was the writer makin' an editorial comment about Bruce Moore's wife?

See the U.S.A…

…in your Bichon Frise.

How a dog is like a car. Hmmmm… We're certainly higher quality, even if the advertisers pushin' this Chevy ad All In One didn't think so.

"For thousands of years, dogs have offered protection, companionship and love to men their masters. More than friends, more than pets are the dogs who spend their lives bringing life into the darkness."

If you're lookin' for protection, companionship, and love from a car, you're probably still livin' in your parent's basement, and your idea of real excitement is a Star Trek convention and a 7 of 9 blow up doll.

"The engineer has done better with the automobile than nature did with the dog. For modern science has produced a car that satisfied all the demands of all drivers. Today's motor car is all in one."

Oh, yeah… In 1938 American manufacturers really thought they could outdo nature.

Ah-rf, Y'all

"Dogs have regional accents just like their owners, a study claims… "Dog owners were asked to phone and leave recorded messages of their voice as well as their dogs barking and growling. The sounds were then compared by a panel of experts… Tracey Gudgeon, of the Canine Behaviour Centre in Cumbria, said: "It seems dogs are more able to imitate stronger, more distinctive accents than softer ones. It's one of the ways they bond with their owner."… The study even found some dogs have "posh" accents…"

Wine list, please.

"A German restaurant has drawn protests and plaudits for refusing to give a dinner reservation to a mother who wanted to bring her two small children. Dogs would be welcome, it said, but "here, children are not allowed in the evening."

I think it's a great idea. It's a bitch havin' to fight those rug rats for the stuff that hits the floor.

posted by Harrison at 5:27 PM


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