Name:Harrison Location:United States

The Original Lovable Little Fuzzball

Here's the straight stuff.

The adventures of Harrison are true.
Try a few of his Crunchy Bites for a taste.
--Alpha Human Mom

Friday, February 24, 2006

Yogi and Winnie Mourn Too

Actually I'm so pissed over this story I can't even think of an interestin' headline.

Maymont employees are mourning the death of the park's two black bears, destroyed yesterday after one of them bit a 4-year-old boy last weekend…

The article about Maymont park claims it's the "…envy of zoologists across the nation…" and the "…bear habitat alone is worth a visit." Well, no more, thanks to parents so stupid they shoulda' been spayed 'n neutered before they could have any kids.

  "Both bears, ages 12 and 9, were   euthanized because it was not known   which one bit the boy, Maymont   officials said. The child and at least one   parent were apparently at the rear of   the 2-acre bear exhibit Saturday when   the child climbed a 4-foot wooden fence   into a restricted area and approached   the 10-foot chain-link fence that   surrounds the bears."

Let's just examine that statement, huh? Kids I know—'specially the 4-year-old variety 'cause AHM has worked with a lot of 'em. First, they're not big enough to climb a 4-foot fence on their own. Second, they don't know the difference between Yogi, Winnie, and the real thing.

That's where parents come in. Or most parents. This particular parent, however, was a Human of Very Little Brain.

Like I said, kids I know—bears, not so much. In fact, I know almost nothin' 'bout bears 'cept little things like ya' don't stick your frickin' hand through the fence into their territory. You 'specially don't poke your hand in if it's holdin' FOOD!

"The child may have been eating an apple or had apple [scent] on his hands," said Julia Dixon, spokeswoman for Game and Inland Fisheries. The child put his hand through the fence and was bitten."

Had apple scent on his hands my ass. Little Johnny said "Ooooo, I wanna' feed Yogi!" and Dumb Parent gave the kid a boost over the fence.

So why do I blame the Dumb Parent and not the Vicious Wild Bear? Read on…

"Hours later, the child was treated and released from Bon Secours St. Mary's Hospital, where doctors administered antibiotics. No stitches were required. The hospital reported the incident to the city health department, which notified the Virginia Department of Health and then Game and Inland Fisheries. Maymont was not notified until Tuesday."

Got that? "Hours later…" Now who believes those same parents wouldn't have been screechin' LAWSUIT if their precious progeny had really been attacked and bitten by a bear. In fact, the parents said nothin', cause they knew they were in the wrong! The hospital reported it, as required by law.

Consider the size of a fully grown black bear's jaws versus a four-year-old boy's hand. One little nip would have taken a couple of fingers at least. As embarrassin' as it is to admit, there've been plenty of times AHM ended up with a cut or two 'cause one of us has been just a little too enthusiastic about grabbin' for a treat or the rope tug.

"This is the first incident involving an animal bite at Maymont since bears were introduced 25 year ago. The park…annually draws about 500,000 visitors…"

That's over TWELVE MILLION people. An incredible record destroyed by some still nameless fools.

Bottom line—two perfectly healthy black bears, the major attraction at Maymont, have been euthanized thanks to a bratty little kid and a dangerously indulgent, unbelievably clueless parent.

They should be made to pay.

(Photo by Sammye Newman.)

posted by Harrison at 11:19 PM


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