Small Crunchy Bites

Well, now that the election is over and the losers are being properly medicated, I can get back to lookin' for more silliness among you humans.

Everyone out there seems to think the loonie lefties are all anti-religion. Not so. They just need the right kind of religion with the right kind of savior--maybe somethin' like the one led by Pastor Jack J. Stahl. 'Course, considerin' he's from CA, I suppose it's not unusual…

"Dear Beloved Friend,

"I pray you & your loved one's are enjoying peace, love & perfect health.

"My ministry, The Progressive Universal Life Church (aka The Church of Tom Jones) offers Spiritual Degree, Diploma & Ordination Programs by Mail to the members of our congregation. Many of our Certificates are Awarded for Life, Work or Educational Experience! Get yours NOW! www.pulc.com."

Now there's an idea. Think I'll get me one of those. How d'ya' like the sound of "The Reverend Harrison?"

Better get that "spiritual degree" soon 'cause someone needs to exorcise this web site.

"Hello Kitty and friends welcome you to the exciting and fantastic Hello Kitty World!"

I think it's some sort of interactive game but I didn't stick around long enough to figure it out--except to discover there isn't a canine anywhere. Always knew those catnip junkies were livin' in an alternate reality.

Finally, here's what happens when you stick two elderly Omega humans in one car. Ya'd think this couple was from Tennessee. (They're not.)

"A Florissant couple is safe after they were missing for nearly 24 hours. They were finally located early Sunday morning…

"Violet wanted to stop for help. She says her husband didn't, "I told him I had seen two different cops and I think I'm going to one cop and tell him I'm lost and how do you get back to Florissant and, he says no I don't want you doing that."

"The couple also didn't stop to find a place to eat or a place to sleep. Instead they drove through the night. They did stop three times for gas…

"[Violet] says she's going to buy a cell phone in case they get lost again."

And what makes her think hubby's gonna' pay attention to directions comin' from a cell phone?

posted by Harrison at 12:40 AM