Imitatin' Humanity

Don't understand humans killin' humans, 'cept maybe durin' a war. I know there are bad people out there who seem to like killin'. And there are probably some bad animals out there with the same problem. For the most part, though, when we kill stuff it's for eatin'. 'Course there's always the survival of the fittest part to be considered. Ya' don't see an antelope herd on the run from a cheetah takin' time to stop and help the old or very young who can't keep up. For thousands of years it was only the fastest, healthiest, and smartest who made the grade--at least until we figured out how to con humans into protectin' us. (You might wanna' rethink that "dumb animal" label. You don't see us deprivin' ourselves so you can have a nice house and yard, do you?)

Sure we give somethin' back--at least we canines do--along equines and bovines and ovines and all those other -vines you can name. Even the fe-lyings do their share when they feel like it--which isn't real often, but I'll cut 'em some slack for the sake of argument. You humans take real good care of us, givin' bunches of money to other humans to heal us from things we'd normally die of if we were still livin' in the wild. And those doctor humans have gotten better and better at healin' too. Used to be a horse was always killed when it broke a leg. Now animal medicine is so advanced they're not, unless it's really, really, really bad.

Still, there are humans out there who think it's okay to eliminate us when we're sick, just because we're "inconvenient" to take care of. I know somethin' about that attitude--happened to one of my own cousins. Problem is, now you humans seem to have decided it's okay to do the same thing to other humans.

Continued in Read the Rest!

See there is This Person my cousin Heloise (deal with it!) lived with who liked to take a lot of vacations. In fact, This Person didn't do much of anythin' 'cept take vacations and run around to restaurants and get-togethers and other stuff to have fun. They were single and considered themselves quite the party animal. That's okay, I suppose, but TP also said they were too sick to do any work and was havin' the government send 'em checks. So they could have fun. And take vacations.

Anyway, everythin' was fine for a while, and Heloise usually stayed with us ('cause we were family) when TP was galavantin'. Then Heloise got diabetes (yeah, dogs get it too) and needed lots of shots and regular attention. (Just so ya' know, we can live long, productive lives with diabetes just like you humans do!) That kinda' made it tough for TP to keep up the whirlwind dinin'/shoppin'/socializin'/vacation schedule, but they tried their best.

Heloise wasn't crazy about that idea. She wanted attention 'cause she was sick! So she started doin' things to get attention--like havin' accidents all over the place, whinin' and shakin' like she was gonna' die any minute, and demandin' to sit on beds and sofas and chairs all the time--and then have accidents there so she'd get more attention. (Hey, I didn't say she was the sharpest knife in the drawer, did I?) TP went back and forth from givin' Heloise lots and lots of attention to bitchin' about what a pain she was. Weird thing was, Heloise never did those things when she was visitin' us--which pretty much explained who the real problem was--That Person.

Then That Person moved away and we weren't around to take care of Heloise for free any more. Uh oh. Heloise needed lots of attention. That Person suddenly had to pay someone to take care of her. How was That Person gonna' keep up the hectic round of fun stuff with Heloise crampin' their style and their pocketbook? Heloise was interferin' with That Person's ability to "move on" with their lifestyle in a big way. Heloise had become a major inconvenience to That Person.

Heloise was disposed of--and an inconvenience to That Person's lifestyle was eliminated. Humanely, of course. Even someone as morally questionable as That Person wouldn't starve her to death...like they're doin' to that lady in Florida.


"I have thought some of Nature’s journeymen had made men and not made them well, they imitated humanity so abominably."
William Shakespeare, Hamlet Act III Scene 2

posted by Harrison at 4:43 PM