Name:Harrison Location:United States

The Original Lovable Little Fuzzball

Here's the straight stuff.

The adventures of Harrison are true.
Try a few of his Crunchy Bites for a taste.
--Alpha Human Mom

Sunday, March 13, 2005

Media Bias--Animal Style

It's not just for humans any more. Even really dumb humans.

Since I like keepin' up with what my fellow canines are doin' in the world of show biz, I naturally followed the link to this story 'cause it said there was a spokesdog for a new line of bottled water.

"Bill and Rhonda Fels could never get their 3-year-old, Jason, to drink enough water, and he was chronically dehydrated as a result. So they were delighted when Jason finally found water he liked, from a glacier-fed river Mr. Fels crossed during a hike with Jason in the mountains."

Poor kid, I thought. Then I figurered there was somethin' wrong with parents who'd let their kid be chronically dehydrated.

"Mr. Fels made regular trips to bring back more river water for Jason. When neighbors started mooching his supply for their own problem drinkers, Mr. Fels spotted a business opportunity and started a bottling company to sell the water."

This bit sounded weird--I mean, how many finiky drinkers could there be in one neighborhood? And why couldn't they just get one of those water delivery services to supply 'em like we used to have in California? But at least Mr. Fels was doin' somethin' to help Jason.

"Jason is now healthy and hydrated."

Yea! Jason is saved!

"As a bonus, he has stopped drinking from the toilet."

When I hit this line I just about fell off AHM's lap. A kid drinkin' from the toilet?! It's the same frickin' water that comes out of the tap! We're talkin' a real little spoiled brat, here people.

Then I read this:

Continued in Read the Rest!

"The spaniel-retriever mix is now chief product tester for the Felses' company, Springmill Products Inc., which ships a line of bottled water called PetRefresh for finicky critters nationwide. From their new headquarters on a former tobacco farm in Lawsonville, N.C., the Felses sell their pet water for $1.49 per 20-ounce plastic bottle."

Jason is a dog!

For three paragraphs the writer--in the Wall Street Journal, no less--was leadin' the reader to believe Jason was a human kid!

Now ya' all know I love makin' fun of fe-lyings who manipulate their companions into jumpin' through hoops for just for the hell of it. I guess we canines are finally decidin' it's our turn--'specially those of us livin' in high class neighborhoods considerin' they're connin' their families into payin' $1.50 a pop.

"A Wallace, Calif., company named Pawier Inc. pioneered the industry in 1990 with a vitamin-enriched water for dogs, which it has now replaced with a water-soluble vitamin supplement. Dog Ventures LLC of West Palm Beach, Fla., sells "DogWater" in containers that double as throwing toys. Then there's K9 Water Inc., a Valencia, Calif., start-up whose catalog lists products such as "Gutter Water" and chicken-flavored "Toilet Water."

"I came up with 'Toilet Water' because my dog would only drink out of the toilet," says Susan Goldberg, a 40-year-old accountant who started K9 in 2003 with an associate, Don Magier.

Can't anyone figure out the water in the toilet is the same as water comin' out of the tap? Maybe someone should design a water bowl that looks like a toilet.

"The Felses sell PetRefresh not only for dogs, but also for cats, birds and hamsters. They claim their water is healthier because it doesn't contain chlorine or fluoride. Those chemicals added to tap water can hurt animals' kidneys, urinary tracts and bones, they say. Tap water "also gives them bad breath, and causes hair loss," Mr. Fels says."

Can you say "snake oil salesman?"

"The couple says their water is safe for people, even though they label their product as "not for human consumption." Mr. Fels says the labeling is necessary to avoid strict regulations related to human health. In a recent sampling, unflavored PetRefresh served by Mrs. Fels in a chilled bottle tasted just like mountain spring water."

The real kicker to this story is that the Fels moved cross-country tryin' to find 1) water Jason liked and 2) a state that allowed 'em to swipe gallons of water for a dog that was perfectly happy drinkin' outta' the john!

posted by Harrison at 3:31 PM


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