"Plastics"*
Heard those humans in Washington agreed to allow drillin' for oil in the ANWR so all the critters up in the great frozen north can be warm and toasty. Not really, I know. And it'll take a loooong time before we see any down in the lower 48--long past my expected lifetime.
'Course now all those enviro-fe-lyings will be yowlin' about whether the wildlife can manage to walk around the wells and pipes and stuff. Since they manage to walk around in two hundred and forty-seven feet of snow most of the year I think they'll manage. Dad told me that out in CA the regu-cat-ors worried about whether certain kinds of birds would be able to fly over fenced-in land (really) and what would the deer do? (Can you say "jump?")
Anyway, somethin' everyone seems to be forgettin' is, once all that black stuff gets here, it's gonna' have to be mixed into gas and all the other things we use. AHM says the places that do that are called refineries and human animals really don't want any of 'em in their back yards. They haven't built one of 'em since before I was born. Maybe even before Grand Dam Bitch was born and that was forever ago. Since human animals can yell and scream, I see quite a cat fight in the future.
What really got me goin', though, was all the other stuff humans make from oil--or from the goopy crap left over after they make the gasoline. Like my bed pillows--or the fake stuffin' inside--and all my toys! Even my cloth tuggy toys, 'cause they use oil on the thread to make it easier to weave. (That could have somethin' to do with why they're so easy to pull apart, too.)
Anything made outa' plastic (squeaky toys) or wrapped in plastic (chew bones) or packed in plastic containers (fancy cookies which we don't get anyway and now I know why) uses oil 'cause all plastics come from oil. Yikes! That pretty much means if the price of oil keeps goin' up, I'm never gonna' get another new toy!
No offense, animals up north, but you really need to get outa' our way. We got a serious canine-needs crisis down here.
*In the 1967 film The Graduate, Dustin Hoffman is given a one word tip for the future: "Plastics."
posted by Harrison at 10:50 PM
'Course now all those enviro-fe-lyings will be yowlin' about whether the wildlife can manage to walk around the wells and pipes and stuff. Since they manage to walk around in two hundred and forty-seven feet of snow most of the year I think they'll manage. Dad told me that out in CA the regu-cat-ors worried about whether certain kinds of birds would be able to fly over fenced-in land (really) and what would the deer do? (Can you say "jump?")
Anyway, somethin' everyone seems to be forgettin' is, once all that black stuff gets here, it's gonna' have to be mixed into gas and all the other things we use. AHM says the places that do that are called refineries and human animals really don't want any of 'em in their back yards. They haven't built one of 'em since before I was born. Maybe even before Grand Dam Bitch was born and that was forever ago. Since human animals can yell and scream, I see quite a cat fight in the future.
What really got me goin', though, was all the other stuff humans make from oil--or from the goopy crap left over after they make the gasoline. Like my bed pillows--or the fake stuffin' inside--and all my toys! Even my cloth tuggy toys, 'cause they use oil on the thread to make it easier to weave. (That could have somethin' to do with why they're so easy to pull apart, too.)
Anything made outa' plastic (squeaky toys) or wrapped in plastic (chew bones) or packed in plastic containers (fancy cookies which we don't get anyway and now I know why) uses oil 'cause all plastics come from oil. Yikes! That pretty much means if the price of oil keeps goin' up, I'm never gonna' get another new toy!
No offense, animals up north, but you really need to get outa' our way. We got a serious canine-needs crisis down here.
*In the 1967 film The Graduate, Dustin Hoffman is given a one word tip for the future: "Plastics."
posted by Harrison at 10:50 PM
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