Legal Eagles Usin' Pets

…to line their pockets.

Now these are a couple of really sad stories. Losin' a trusted friend (the only friend some of you people out there are ever gonna' have) is major trauma. But with everythin' else that's goin' on in the world--'specially that piece of crap in Florida who wants to kill his wife--this kinda' stuff has gone waaaay beyond normal

First there's people demandin' $740,000 for a dead dog in Boston.

"The family of Cassius, the dog killed by leaking electricity from an old NStar Electric lamppost site, said last night it had turned down an unspecified offer of "comfort money" from NStar and is demanding $740,000 from the utility or it will sue. The family said it picked the dollar figure because it equals NStar chief executive Thomas J. May's annual salary…

"We didn't want the DeVito family to appear greedy," their lawyer, John G. Swomley, said at a packed press conference last evening where the family disclosed its $740,000 demand."

Ummmm… How else do ya' think they're gonna' appear Mr. Attorney Swomley?

Haven't decided how I feel about this fe-lyin' story--Rotties are not my favorites, 'tho I pretty much kept 'em in their place. 'Course we can always hope the silly woman uses the money to get herself analyzed!

"Mary Ann Anzalone, 45, wants more than $100,000 from Kragness Animal Hospital, the Far South Side clinic where her 4-year-old cat, "Blackie," was killed. Though Cook County Judge Barbara Disko dismissed Anzalone's claim for "intentional infliction of emotional distress," the Illinois Court of Appeals reversed that decision, saying that while the amount might have seemed excessive, Anzalone provided a good argument for the pain she's felt since her cat was killed…

"Anzalone said she's "cried constantly following Blackie's violent death and continues to cry every time she thinks about it to this date," adding she's "lost sleep" and has "recurring waking thoughts and nightmares in which she envisions Blackie, a declawed cat, ripped apart by a Rottweiler."

"Anzalone, who is unmarried and has no children, said the cat was like her child and said the loss has caused her stress, headaches and a weight gain of about 40 pounds."

And now she wants more money to turn herself into a bigger tubbo!

Ya' know, if AHM tried that after somethin' happened to me (and since I'm a show dog and stud she at least might have cause) I'd come back from the grave and haunt her. Just imagine puddles of pee materializin' outta' nowhere. Hmmmm. Could be fun. Maybe I'll do it anyway…

posted by Harrison at 3:03 PM