Name:Harrison Location:United States

The Original Lovable Little Fuzzball

Here's the straight stuff.

The adventures of Harrison are true.
Try a few of his Crunchy Bites for a taste.
--Alpha Human Mom

Friday, April 26, 2013

Dumb, Dumber…

...or "...come and get this goddam cat!"

Plagiarist-“artist” Shephard Fairey is back to playin’ in the dirty litter pan again.

Don’t know which is scarier. This poster:

…which is obviously a rip-off of this:

“The 1939 Nuremberg Rally was to be the “Party Rally of Peace,” but it was canceled when World War II began.”

(Good thing that 1930’s German leader, who’s-name-shall-not-be-invoked, isn’t around to sue him this time.)

…or this poster:

Decisions, decisions.

Dug up at Breitbart.

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posted by Harrison at 7:53 AM


Thursday, April 25, 2013

Charles Schulz Said It Best

"Happiness is a warm puppy."

When bad stuff happens, ya’ need someone who will hold your paw and just listen.

”One of the most remarkable things about the recent Boston bombings was how kind people were during the crisis—but gentle words and hugs aren’t always enough to comfort the victims of this kind of disaster.

“That’s why the folks of K9 Parish Comfort Dogs and other organizations have brought their canine friends to help those who could use some unconditional love right now

“But everyone else can help by donating to the K9 Parish Comfort Dog’s Boston travel expense fund or to HOPE Animal-Assisted Crisis Response.”

Dug up at MentalFloss.

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posted by Harrison at 8:11 PM


Thursday, April 18, 2013

“Tales of a Wayside Inn”

The Landlord’s Tale or Paul Revere’s Ride
Henry Wadsworth Longfellow 1807-1882

“Listen my children and you shall hear
Of the midnight ride of Paul Revere,
On the eighteenth of April, in Seventy-five;
Hardly a man is now alive
Who remembers that famous day and year.
He said to his friend, “If the British march
By land or sea from the town to-night,
Hang a lantern aloft in the belfry arch
Of the North Church tower as a signal light,–
One if by land, and two if by sea;
And I on the opposite shore will be,
Ready to ride and spread the alarm
Through every Middlesex village and farm,
For the country folk to be up and to arm.”


So through the night rode Paul Revere;
And so through the night went his cry of alarm
To every Middlesex village and farm,—
A cry of defiance, and not of fear,
A voice in the darkness, a knock at the door,
And a word that shall echo for evermore!
For, borne on the night-wind of the Past,
Through all our history, to the last,
In the hour of darkness and peril and need,
The people will waken and listen to hear
The hurrying hoof-beats of that steed,
And the midnight message of Paul Revere.”

Schoolchildren used to know that poem—at least the first verse—by heart. Now, of course, it’s doubtful they even know the name Paul Revere.

As for William Dawes and the others…

William Dawes*? Others?

Yeah, there were a whole bunch of messengers who rode out that April 18th 1775 night after Robert Newman, sexton of the Old North Church, hung two lanterns in the steeple. They scattered across the countryside, heading to Lexington to warn revolutionary leaders Samuel Adams (no, not the beer guy) and John Hancock (and no, not the insurance guy) that the British army was on its way to capture them.

Ironically, considering the recent defeat the liberals’ gun grabbin’ plot to infringe on our 2nd Amendment rights, Revere and his companion William Dawes decided to ride on to Concord to warn the people the British (no, not Piers Morgan) were on their way to confiscate the munitions the Provincial Congress had stored in the Armory.

Paul Revere and William Dawes never made it, stopped on the road by British troops. But other riders got through and ya’ know what happened—or you should. Roused from their beds, the Minutemen faced down the British on Concord Bridge and fired “the shot heard ‘round the world.”

When those bombs went off durin’ the Boston Marathon—which commemorates Boston’s most famous horseman’s ride—it was an attack on the very foundation of our nation. And when power-hungry tyrants try to strip us of our rights, we will fight back.

*AHM says some people claim Wadsworth considered two opening lines for his famous poem. The one we know and this one:

“Listen, my children, and give a pause
For the midnight ride of William Dawes.”

He chose well.

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posted by Harrison at 11:34 PM


Sunday, April 14, 2013

Spicer Cub’s Excellent Adventure

It’s the Triple Crown season again (Kentucky Derby, Preakness, and Belmont Stakes) and at least we can be sure this is one sport Tiger Woods absolutely cannot cheat his way into the final cut.

But even if there’s an Affirmed/Alydar finish in the 2013 Belmont that gives us a new Triple Crown winner, an ordinary little race last Saturday at Pimlico in Baltimore—#11 on your card—will be replayed for years to come.

It begins innocently enough, with a horse named Spicer Cub going to the lead and sauntering comfortably along. Then...

The excitement begins at about 2:28 when the horse bolts to the outside rail. He gets straightened out and heads into the stretch.

At 2:38 you can see the starting gate on the left side of the screen. At 2:41 Spicer Cub vanishes from the video, having bolted again, this time heading toward the starting gate. He reappears and—much to the astonishment of track announcer Dave Rodman, along with every $2 bettor in the crowd—makes a mad dash for the wire.

Immediately after the original video is a replay with a head-on shot showing that Spicer Cub actually ran between the starting gate and the outside rail. That’s over 1,000 lbs. of horse traveling at 35 mph through a gap barely 7 feet wide. (Think Luke Skywalker flying down the Death Star trench.)

At about 5:06 the cameraman pans wide enough to cover the whole stretch. At 5:13 you can see Spicer Cub emerge from behind the starting gate on the far left of the screen. Amazingly, Spicer Cub never stops his stretch drive even though Jockey Xavier Perez lost his irons.

Dave Rodman gives a tour-de-force race call right to the photo finish ending.

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posted by Harrison at 9:06 PM


Saturday, April 13, 2013

“…come and get this goddamn cat!”

Words to live by.

There’s been a long tradition of puttin’ fe-lyings to work on sailing ships where they would keep rats and other vermin out of the food stores. Supposedly they’re good luck, but readin’ through a few of these stories…well…not so much.

Apparently that mythical “luck” doesn’t translate to airships.

“In 1910, American journalist, airman, and adventurer Walter Wellman attempted to be the first person to cross the Atlantic Ocean by air. One October day, he and a crew of five boarded the dirigible America in Atlantic City, New Jersey and took to the air, bound for Europe.

“The America carried two interesting pieces of equipment. One was one of the earliest radio sets ever carried on an aircraft, and the other was Kiddo, a stray cat one of the crewmen had scooped up from the hangar and brought on board for good luck.”

Biiiiiiiig mistake. The fe-lyin’ freaked out, according to the navigator, “…rushing around the airship like a squirrel in a cage.” An argument ensued between the radio operator, who wanted to dump the menace, and the navigator who insisted “We must keep the cat at all costs; we can never have luck without a cat aboard.”

He didn’t say what kind of luck.

Ultimately the men decided to lower the useless fe-lyin’ overboard to reporters followin’ the airship in a motorboat, but rough water defeated the attempt and Kiddo was back on board the Atlantic.

Eventually radio operator Irwin totally lost it and made the first (or maybe the second if ya’ wanna’ consider Canadian claims) air-to-ground radio transmission to his counterpart in Atlantic City: “Roy, come and get this goddamn cat!”

It wasn’t enough to save the Atlantic from the fe-lyin’ jinx.

“A little more than a day into the flight and well short of their destination, the crew ran into bigger problems than Kiddo. The weather took a turn for the worse, and the engines, clogged with sand from the Atlantic City beach, began to fail. Spotting a mail ship below them, the crew and Kiddo piled into the lifeboat and abandoned the America, which drifted away and was never seen again.”

Sounds like what’s happenin’ to the United States with all those Demo-cats on board.

Now, if ya’ wanna’ read how a canine handled lighter-than-air travel, here’s the story of Black Dog:

“At the beginning of the flight, Black Dog went forward to the radio compartment and lay down under the navigator’s table. Ten hours later when they 1anded at Glynco, Black Dog was still under the Nav table, behaving himself.”

Compare and contrast.

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posted by Harrison at 10:11 AM


R.I.P. Jonathan Winters

The man who asked the important questions about life.

“Did you ever undress in front of a dog? … A bird somehow doesn’t count, right? Or a cat. But a dog… they really stare.”

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posted by Harrison at 9:20 AM


Monday, April 01, 2013

White House Redecorated, Reopened Today Only

Dug up at Neatorama.

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posted by Harrison at 6:32 PM