Name:Harrison Location:United States

The Original Lovable Little Fuzzball

Here's the straight stuff.

The adventures of Harrison are true.
Try a few of his Crunchy Bites for a taste.
--Alpha Human Mom

Saturday, January 24, 2009

Cheezy Choice Cuts

How could anyone not love 150 pounds of dog loveliness?

CNN correspondent Soledad O'Brien wants this dog gone.

The newswoman and other members of a Chelsea co-op board are trying to evict a beloved family pet from a swanky loft building because they say the dog is smelly and slobbers.

O'Brien, in a 20-page affidavit, complained about the pooch's "size, slobbering, shedding, drooling, gassiness and odors."

"She told me at a shareholder's meeting that my dog stinks," said Steven Lyons, owner of Ugo, a good-natured, 150-pound mastiff.

Bet she voted for the Mutt, though.

Isn't this bandwagon is gettin' a bit crowded?

Will it be a purebred? A Doberman maybe? Some sort of hound?

Surely not a pit bull.

When it comes time for Kurt Warner to give his kids a dog, as promised, will it be a mongrel? […]

"My wife put words in my mouth and told (their kids) if we won the Super Bowl, they could get a puppy," Warner said prior to his team's stunning 33-13 victory over the No.2-seeded Panthers at Carolina.
"I want to win the Super Bowl, but I still don't want to get a puppy."

Said Cardinals coach Ken Whisenhunt, speaking for dog lovers and lovers of underdogs everywhere: "I hope he gets a puppy."

Gettin' old, people, gettin' old.

With Westminster comin' up next month, there are sure to be a lot more articles like this one showin' up. Yeah, right. Like you humans haven't been doin' this kinda' thing for years!

Their mental and physical agility of many breeds is being eroded as owners now look for docile, pretty pets to live in their homes.

In the 19th century dogs were more likely to be selected for their strength and skills, so they were able to earn their keep guarding homes and livestock and fetching the quarry on a hunting trip.

But a significant change in breeding trends has meant the ancestors of these proud working dogs are now less responsive to commands and not as alert or attentive.

Considerin' the results of the last election, why should we listen to ya'?

And if that wasn't enough reason, there's this.

“Based on Paris Hilton’s discarded pet Tinkerbell [the purse] is an upside down dead Chihuahua. This design capitalizes on the trend of carrying a small dog as a fashion accessory.”

Only $317.

And non-allergenic.

Just sayin'…

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posted by Harrison at 12:05 AM


Thursday, January 22, 2009

The Mutt and the Demo-cat Congress…

…workin' together hand and—er—butt.

Dug up at Neatorama.

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posted by Harrison at 2:19 PM


Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Thank You President Bush

When too many of us lost faith in you, you never lost faith in us.

You can thank the Bush family for their service here.

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posted by Harrison at 10:25 PM


Saturday, January 17, 2009

Prophet with Paws

Over a year ago I told ya'll not to vote for the Mutt Bar-ack! 'cause it was obvious he couldn't make up his mind 'bout somethin' as simple as gettin' a pet for his kids.

More importantly, the Obama family has no pets, though Daddy Obama has been promisin' his kids a dog. (Can you say Labrador Retriever?) Hmmmmm… So far he hasn't followed through. Far as I'm concerned, that makes all those other promises he’s slingin’ around smell worse than the turkey carcass that went missin’ the day after Christmas and you found wedged behind the clothes dryer a week later.

Okay, so I predicted a Labrador Retriever and, accordin' to the latest, he's considerin' a Labradoodle. That smells like another example of the Mutt tryin' to be all things to all people. Labrador = Demo-cat canine of choice; Poodle = the people's choice. Supposedly he's also thinkin' 'bout gettin' a Portuguese water dog which, of course, is a thinly disguised attempt to link himself to the Kennedy mystique. (I'm gettin' my water wings ready.)

Like I said, "…if he can't keep a promise to his own kids, what the hell can the rest of us expect?"

Well, everyone's learnin' too late.

It is not exactly like taking heat for his position on the Gaza conflict, but Mr. Obama is sparking criticism from those who spend time thinking about these things for his family’s drawn-out search, their “naivete” and their “conflicting public statements” on exactly what kind of pooch the family is looking for.

“I’m frustrated with the Obamas. Just get a dog already,” said Daisy Okas, a spokesperson for the American Kennel Club, who said she has heard from many angry dog owners in recent days over how the Obama’s have been handling what has become, to them at least, a politically charged issue. […]

Even so, Mr. Obama’s public remarks about the dog have been exasperating to some. “He just keeps making statements that are incompatible,” said Ms. Okas, of the American Kennel Club.

You're just figurin' that out now? He's been doin' it for the past two years.

Just another Demo-cat hackin' up hairballs.

Next time—listen to the damn dog!

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posted by Harrison at 9:22 PM


Friday, January 16, 2009

Four Years Before the Mast…

…of a sinkin' ship. 'Course it could be less considerin' the honesty (or lack thereof) of officials you uneducated humans have foisted on the rest of us. Yeah, we canines are eternal optimists. Just think of how many times we still chase that damn ball.

Anyway, this is a pretty good analysis of the fe-lyin' liberals who'll be movin' into Washington DC. They're pushy, obnoxious, controllin', messy, snobbish, fat, fruity, lazy, female, zoned-out, sex-crazed insomniacs.

Note: Sorry for the lack of posts. AHM just started a new job at the same place and is house-huntin' at the same time. We're lucky if we get our evenin' walks, all things considered.

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posted by Harrison at 2:30 PM


Thursday, January 08, 2009

Kibbles 'n Bits®

Soon to be our favorite snack…kitten of the sea.

PETA—People For The Ethical Treatment of Animals--believes calling fish sea kittens will make sea food less appealing. It wants to change the image of fish as slimy and slithery creatures by claiming they are similar to cuter, more popular animals. "Would people think twice about ordering fish sticks if they were called sea kitten sticks?" PETA asked on its website.

Based on the accompanyin' pic, this will turn your canine into Cujo—or a Demo-cat voter.

Skip Haynes and Dana Walden are all about making the world a better place for dogs and their CD, Songs to Make Dogs Happy, is a hit with four-legged music fans. […] "It's actually a bit nauseating for humans, although people do get addicted to it," said Haynes. "Especially Squeaky Deakey."

Nauseatin' not only for humans. We tested the samples at the site linked in the article. They should market it as a workout CD 'cause even the oldsters got their arthritic joints a-movin' to get the hell out of the room! AHM's screamin' was just too much to take.

I keep tryin' to warn my buds those cute little French poodles will only break your heart, but—with an English bulldog…?

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posted by Harrison at 10:58 PM


Demo-cats Versus America

Hidden camera shows how the Mutt's economic "stimulus" plan will work.

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posted by Harrison at 11:56 AM


Wednesday, January 07, 2009

Sign of the Times

Accordin' to Neatorama, this sign advertises the business hours of a "conspiracy theory headquarters" in Toronto. Even I can figure out 9:11 and 7:07, but the others? Can you match the events with the "dates"?

AHM's guesses are in the comments.

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posted by Harrison at 11:34 PM


Sunday, January 04, 2009


Jan over at the Poodle (and Dog) Blog posted an interestin' story 'bout a lost police dog. Nice to read they occasionally go over the wire, shall we say, 'tho in our yard we just wait for L.G. to pry open the pickets on the fence. (She's the biggest so if she gets thru, all of us can.) Anyway, that reminded me of a video I saw over at Chris' Border Collie Blog 'bout the ultimate police dog Fail! 'Suppose even the best of us have paws of clay sometimes.

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posted by Harrison at 8:11 PM


Saturday, January 03, 2009

The Most Obedient Dog in the World

Or the biggest sucker. I report…you decide.

Yeah, I could have done without all those fe-lyings laughin' in the background too.

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posted by Harrison at 11:50 PM


Friday, January 02, 2009

doG Save the Queen

To remind everyone out there—where would ya' be without a dog

…specifically a terrier!

Daily Record agony aunt Joan Burnie discovered the drawings - and an accompanying letter - when she was walking her Jack Russell terrier Polly. Joan said: "Polly saw them underneath a bush on the path and came out with the plans in her mouth. "I took them from her to see what they were and that's when I saw the letter. I was shocked to see the plans were for Holyrood house [the Queen's official residence in Scotland]."

Power ducts, cables and a transformer are marked on the drawings, along with sizes of the gardens and locations for boiler rooms, gas meters, store cupboards, kitchens, toilets and wash areas. Three public entrances are highlighted and the dimensions of the stable yards and seated terrace areas are given.

A spokeswoman for the palace said last night: "We acknowledge this has been a security breach which we are taking very seriously and are currently investigating." Plans involving Holyroodhouse are normally closely guarded.

We're pretty good handlin' fire

A South Hadley family is safe after a fire damages some of their home, and it's all thanks to some unexpected help. The Spring Meadow Road family is fortunate to be safe thanks to help from a neighbor's dogs.

and illness too.

911 dispatchers have heard it all, but this one is the most unusual. When the operator answered a call, she heard a dog barking on the other end.

For Joe Stalnaker, his dog buddy is more than a best friend, he's a guardian angel. Buddy saved Joe's life by grabbing the phone and calling 911 when Joe was having a seizure -- and he also barked and whimpered for the operator, who sent paramedics after tracing the call.

Remember those stories when your petty local officials start draftin' any sort of anti-dog regulations in your town.

In case anyone was wonderin' 'bout that video of the hero dog pullin' its pal from traffic in Chile, the injuried dog was killed and, as far as we can discover, the companion has not been found.

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posted by Harrison at 2:12 PM


Thursday, January 01, 2009

Now go smooch your pooch.

According to the Times Square Alliance, one out of five people don't have anyone to kiss on New Years Eve and more people kiss their pets than their friends...

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posted by Harrison at 12:00 AM