Mystery Foreigner Lurks Outside D.C.

A possible new terrorist threat? Or…?

God knows what, frankly.

"A mystery animal is on the loose in Baltimore County and not even the experts can pin down what it is. A Glyndon man found a way to secretly record the beast while it grazed in his yard. For a while it was just lurking in the woods watching the Wroe family until the Wroes started watching it.

"Jay Wroe: "My truck was parked here, started getting in my truck. I kind of saw it there where the sunlight is and said what in the world is that?… The next day, I hooked up just portable motion detectors, and put them down back in the woods there." The trap worked. "Very bizarre. I went and got my father and cousin and they came and looked at it and their reactions were pretty much the same -- what in the world are we looking at?"

Is it real or is it Photoshopped?

"Kim Carlsen: "It comes to our house. It's been up in the woods for a while and it comes up through the bottom of our yard and eats our cat food."

Hmmmm… Do John Ashcroft and Tom Ridge know about this collusion between fe-lyings and the mystery beast? Was this potential threat detailed in those classified documents Sandy Berger had stuffed in his knickers?

"Despite the fact it's lurking in these woods and no one knows when or where it will come out, no one here seems afraid of it… Even the other neighborhood animals like Bullwinkle the dog next door seem okay with the beast."

Bullwinkle? How much are you gettin' paid to look the other way, Bullwinkle? And what was your real relationship with that flying squirrel?! He wasn't named "Rocky" for nothin', ya' know…

"Kim Carlsen: "It's not afraid of the cats and the cats seem to get along with it fine."

Yeah, well, the cats are providing food and a safe haven, aren't they? Wha'd'ya expect?

"The beast is not shy, and visits most often under bright sun.

All the better for takin' pictures of its potential targets.

"While no one here knows what it is, they do have a name for it -- the hyote, a combination of a hyena and a coyote."

Ya' know, I never bought that jackalope story and I'm not too sure I'm buyin' this one. Three-Foot was the Alpha leader of the coyote pack that hunted on the edge of our ranch in CA. I knew ole' Three-Foot. He was a friend of mine. And son, you are no part of Three-Foot.

The rest of you can decide for yourself.



NOTE: [I cropped the right side and top only--AHM.]

posted by Harrison at 11:44 PM