Chips versus "Pfc." Hammer

I report--you decide.

Tabby gets military rank after Iraq tour

"He has been through mortar attacks," said Bousfield, a 19-year Army veteran. "He'd jump and get scared liked the rest of us. He is kind of like one of our own."

Pfc. Hammer got his name from the unit that adopted him, Team Hammer. Soldiers would tuck Hammer in their body armor during artillery attacks, and in return, Hammer chased mice in the mess hall.

Somehow I don't think this fe-lying is part of Hammer's Slammers

[That's science fiction--AHM.]

[So's the cat--H.]

"He was a stress therapist," Bousfield said. "The guys would come back in tired and stressed. Hammer would come back and bug the heck out of you. He wiped away some worries."

Stress therapist? Maybe they should have named him "Dr. Phil" instead.

The kitten earned his rank after nabbing five mice."

Okay--the fe-lying catches five mice which, considering all the rats running around Iraq these days, is a paltry effort. (He ain't no "Army of One," that's for sure.) So the fat cat gets an official army rank.

On the other paw, Chips captured an entire German machine gun snipers' nest and ended up with squat.

I feel an analogy coming on…

[Should I call the vet?--AHM]

[Ha ha. Just type what I tell you!--H]

John Kerry gets a scratch in Vietnam (probably from some fe-lying they won't talk about) and is a "war hero."

President Bush is fighting an international war on terror, defeated two murderous dictatorships in three years, and the Demo-cats are still trying to say he was AWOL.

Dug up at The Corner.

posted by Harrison at 10:37 PM