The Cost of Livin'…

…with a dog. An annual report.

"Owning a dog over the course of its lifetime now costs as much as a new Mercedes, according to the latest figures."

Maybe, but we get better mileage per gallon of fuel consumpion.

"The total bill for expenses such as vet's fees, food, kennels and other necessities adds up to an average of £22,000. There is, however, a big difference between breeds - a small dog such as a Jack Russell terrier is estimated to cost up to £18,000, compared with £33,000 for a Great Dane…"

Let's see…I think that's $31,500 American or, in my case, about $2,400 per year of livin'. $120 a pound. Them's some prime ribs, eh?

"But Bert Easdon, from Glasgow, a member of the Scottish Kennel Club who owns 20 Pekingese dogs, said the £5,000 estimate by owners was a more accurate figure for caring for a dog over its lifetime. "I think the £22,000 is at the high end of the scale and sounds more like a ploy by an insurance firm wanting you to take out one of its policies…"

Whoa! Twenty Pekingese! Have you got any idea of how much pound for pound yappin' that is?

"Karen Easter, of the online firm puccipets.co.uk, which sells designer accessories for dogs, said an increasing number of people were prepared to spend large sums of money."

She obviously never met AHM.

"Dogs these days are more included in the family," she said. "People like to spend money on them the way they would with a child. If it's raining and they're shaking with cold, why shouldn't they have a nice warm coat to wear?"

We're shakin' 'cause that how we get rid of the water in our natural fur coats. Guess Ms. Easter didn't notice them. I've got two, in fact. When I go out in the rain, the wet just sits on the top coat makin' it all the more fun to wander in AHM's general direction and shake vigorously.

"We're also a lot more image-conscious and buying things for your dog such as a distinctive raincoat or lead means they get noticed. My dogs have polka-dot leads that make people smile."

Bet she has a coupla' prissy poodles. They're the only one I've seen sportin' polka dot leashes. The lady needs a lesson 'bout the difference between smilin' and laughin'.

I've got lots of impressive things over the years—like sterlin' silver water and food bowls. 'Course I had to WIN 'em on the field of battle—er—show circuit. And there's that custom-made collar I won for bein' the best, and a whole bunch of other things, most of 'em as useless as polka dots on leashes. (Never could figure out why those show people gave away pen/pencil desk sets. Guess they never noticed most of us canines aren't real good at writin'.)

Anway, the only things I can remember AHM buyin' that were really weird was a set of boots for Grand Dam Bitch, 'cause getting' snowy, wet feet was botherin' her arthritic knees, and some little ski jackets for our sub-freezin' walks. She eventually discovered shovelin' a dry space on the flagstones was easier than wrestlin' Grand Dam into those boots. Kinda' sad, that, 'cause it was funny as hell watchin' her walk in those things.

As far as the jackets, well, those were hung away as soon as AHM realized two things. One, we were real good at learnin' how to unsnap snaps, meanin' we spent half our walks trailin' those jackets around like a four-year-old on a playground. Two, there's a velco thingy that fastens 'em under our bellys. Doesn't sound like much 'til ya' remember the anatomical make-up of little boy dogs and the fact our aim is, well, erratic at best.

If ya' really want expensive, though, try getting' this baby for a pet.

"A 2-year-old colt who has yet to run a race drew a world record sale price of $16 million at auction. Demi O'Byrne, an agent, was the bidder and purchased the colt for a team headed by John Magnier and Michael Tabor of the Ireland-based Coolmore Stud at the Fasig-Tipton sale at Calder Race Course… O'Byrne and John Ferguson, who represents Sheikh Mohammed bin Rashid al Maktoum of Dubai, pushed the bidding into record territory."

At least the kid didn't end up in Dubai.

posted by Harrison at 10:40 PM