Kibbles 'n Bits®

Living High on the Dog

Don't know why this is news. I always stayed in air conditioned hotel rooms when I traveled for work.

"While US President George W Bush was checking into the presidential suite at one of Delhi's top hotels, a group of canines belonging to his security detail were enjoying similar comfort nearby…

"Reports say the dogs hold military ranks including sergeant major, first, second, third and fourth lieutenant. "We were told to be careful while addressing the animals and not call them dogs," the Asian Age newspaper quoted a staff member of the Sheraton hotel as saying. "We have been instructed to address them as per their ranks."

Works for me.


Smack Down

"If I had my life to live over again, I would have made a rule to read some poetry and listen to some music at least once a week." ~Charles Darwin

Too bad he didn't. Maybe then he wouldn't have ended up stealin' that cockamamie theory from Alfred Russel Wallace. 'Course then we would never have the Darwin Awards and, even tho' this idiot female isn't dead, she's got her Birkenstocks shufflin' halfway down the path.

"A 25-year-old woman climbed past barriers and into an elephant's zoo exhibit, then crawled out with minor injuries after the 6,000-pound animal smacked her with its trunk. "That's how an elephant reacts to something they would perceive as a threat," said Cameron Park Zoo director Jim Fleshman.

"After saying she wanted to play with the elephant, the woman climbed over a 3-feet-high wood-and-wire fence, scaled an 8-foot-tall artificial rock structure and bypassed an electric wire before jumping into the exhibit Thursday afternoon, Fleshman said. A moat extends around most of the exhibit."

This guy's right beside her.

"Russian businessman Anton Skvortsov…was showing off in front of a group of friends and colleagues at a party in his Moscow office. He decided to show his guests how much his pet alligator Musya loved him and opened the reptile's cage to feed it by hand. "We had all had dinner and I thought my beautiful Musya should have some as well," he said…

"Mr Skvortsov was taken to hospital, where doctors treated his lacerations and gave him a tetanus injection."

Baa Baa Bad Sheep

Can you humans get any more imbecilic? How many nursery rhymes and stories are ya' gonna' rewrite 'til no one's offended?

"Nursery school bosses ordered the words of the rhyme Baa Baa Black Sheep to be altered to Baa Baa Rainbow Sheep.

"The change was made to avoid offending children after teachers examined the nursery's equal opportunities policy. Stuart Chamberlain, manager of the Sure Start Centre in Oxford, could not explain why children might be offended. But he said: "No one should feel pointed out because of their race, gender or anything else. We've taken the equal opportunities approach to everything we do. This is fairly standard across nurseries. We are following stringent equal opportunities rules."

Let's see… There's "Mary Had a Little Lamb" (white-as-snow fleece), "Three Blind Mice" (the vision impaired), "Sing a Song of Sixpence" (blackbirds), "Simple Simon" (the mentally challenged) "There Was a Crooked Man" (the disabled), "Hot Cross Buns" (non-Christians), "Jack be Nimble" (the clumsy), "Old King Cole," "Old Mother Hubbard," and "There Was an Old Woman" (senior citizens). "Ride a Cock Horse," and "Wee Willie Winkie" I'll leave to your own imaginations.

posted by Harrison at 11:19 PM